Don't Drop Your Monkey Cup!

Values. According to commonly practiced “rules” of both personal development and strategic planning, individuals, teams and organizations must identify their Core Values and live by them to be authentic and successful in pursuit of a vision. I agree wholeheartedly.

Understanding what one values most explains so much that might otherwise be misunderstood, difficult or just down-right confusing. Everyone lives by a creed, basic values, a moral code that is either spoken or unspoken...adhered to or not...acted upon either consistently or inconsistently. Can you articulate your values and live by them as well?

Values guide our decisions; values determine our choices; values define our character and the product of our days. Values, whether we are aware of them or not, determine how we act, how we treat others, how we respond to opportunity and adversity, and how much value we add to the world around us. Values may make my behavior easy to predict, but in a good way. My values create a clear image of the person I strive to be.

Values inform our expenditures of time, of money, of relational collateral and of commitment to change. I’ve written this before but it always bears repeating: if you aren’t sure where to begin identifying your core values look at your checkbook register and your daily planner; where are you investing your primary resources of money and time? Ask yourself what you really want, and ask your friends and loved ones about what they think you value most.

Values. They make us who we are as individuals, as families, as businesses, as churches, as 4-H clubs, or however we come together in community or corporate purpose.

What are your values? What do you hold most dearly?

My Twitter Friend (make that Twiend), Marie Wikle (@spreadingjoy) loves her coffee, and drinks daily from her favorite coffee mug - the monkey cup with the broken arm that also serves as the cup’s handle (pictured above). Marie holds her monkey cup dearly. Seeing how she writes about her beloved monkey cup, I have to wonder which warms her more – her coffee or her monkey cup! Here is a recent Tweet from Marie:

“@pdncoach i love my monkey cup - the handle is his arm. Have dropped it and glued it back on several times. I can't toss him out.”

I also know that Marie values family, her daughter and husband, and her ministry of Spreading Joy through powerful actions that add measurable value to her community. These things she holds dearly.

What you value most is what matters most at The Intersection of Purpose and Now.

• What things, what ideals, what relationships are you “holding onto dearly”?
• What is it that you are willing to “toss out”?
• What is most important to you?
• What do you really want out of life? What do you really want to experience today?
• What is it that you want others to say and believe about you?
  
• What are the vital few “Monkey Cups” in your life? (Have you ever had to repair an arm? I sure have; broken values must be mended.)

Living at The Intersection of Purpose and Now is about living a remarkable life by your own God-given definition, stabilized and purified by focusing on your most valued beliefs and relationships. Living at this Intersection is about personal leadership. It’s about knowing your purpose in life and your purpose in this moment. It’s about thinking On Purpose, feeling On Purpose, acting On Purpose.

Living at The Intersection of Purpose and Now is about re-connecting your thoughts and actions with your deepest VALUES and purpose, and engendering the same connection in others. It’s about having the courage to take action now on the things most important to you, about achieving what may seem just beyond your reach.

Living at The Intersection of Purpose and Now is about holding on to your Monkey Cup and, if you should ever drop it, mending it with loving care and glue that holds it to its original design.

Don’t Drop Your Monkey Cup. Hold onto it dearly. Join me at the Intersection of Purpose & Now.

The Intersection of Leadership and Leadership Culture Part 4

Ted Kennedy, Low-Potential Leader

I did not intend for there to be a "Part 4" of my series on The Intersection of Leadership and Leadership Culture. But I was struck by the death of Senator Ted Kennedy this morning after his painful bout with brain cancer. I have never been a fan of his politics, but have become a fan of the man and the leader this man became in the latter part of his life.

Kennedy, despite his many failings - and there were many - became what I call a great leader. If there is any sort of positive leadership culture in the U.S. Senate or Congress in general, Ted Kennedy, the youngest Kennedy son, the "black sheep" of that revered American family, the failed presidential candidate turned honored statesman, played a seminal role.

I could not have expressed my thoughts on the meaning of Kennedy's life as a leader as well as author Sarah Green has in Harvard Business Publishing's "Conversation Starter" for today. So for today, learn something more about the Intersection of Leadership and Leadership Culture, and about the Intersection of Purpose and Now, by reading Sarah Green's brief summation of the life and death of Senator Ted Kennedy.

Ted Kennedy, Low-Potential Leader

The Intersection of Leadership and The Leadership Culture Part 3

This is part three of our series about the intersection of how leaders develop a culture of leadership around them. Today, we draw directly from a conference article by Pastor Dave Ferguson of Community Christian Church in Suburban Chicago titled Lessons Learned While Starting New Things. Following are five elements necessary to develop an organizational culture that nurtures leadership capabilities that exist in everyone.

1. Vision - a vision is never wholly your own and neither is a culture. When your leadership culture becomes the product of your vision and the recognized source for your vision, that is when you will have a compelling vision that people will follow. Your vision may be a story you need to tell, it may come from a variety of experiences, it may be inspired by the people in your organization and, ideally, by your customers. The visions that seem to evolve from all of these sources and more - those will be the most compelling visions of all.


2. Strategy made simple - many leaders fail because their strategy is too complicated. Can you explain yours on the back of a napkin? Can you make compelling your vision or value statement, your key strategies and your major goals by drawing it up quickly over coffee with a colleague?


3. Financial Viability - money always follows vision; vision does not follow money. Let's face it, if you already have the resources to support your vision, it doesn't require much vision, just a little action! The leader who says his business exists to "make a profit" may struggle to attract and maintain customers. The leader who says his business exists to attract and maintain customers is better positioned to increase profits.
   


4. Innovation - when you are approached with a new idea and your first reaction is a "How", "Why" or even "No", you may kill innovation and your culture all in one. People want to make a difference and pursue their own dreams. What they need is a permission-giving leader who equips them to give it a try. Ferguson says it best:

   "What people need is affirmation of their dreams and space for them to figure out how to make them really work."

5. Building Bench Strength - effective leaders create healthy leadership cultures where anyone can explore his or her potential for leadership. Young leaders especially, but leaders at every career stage need the opportunity to lead. Perhaps the truest sign of a mature leader is the ability to get out of the way and let others lead, demonstrate your own willingness to follow even if you are a senior leader or at the "top" of the organization. Ultimately, a healthy leadership culture is one that allows risk-taking among emerging leaders.
   

The Intersection of Leadership and The Leadership Culture Part 2

We are picking up today where we left off yesterday, with the idea of a general shift in thinking about leadership development. I draw from several resources. The following excerpt from Scientific American, July 31, 2007, adequately describes The New Psychology of Leadership.

"In the past, leadership scholars considered charisma, intelligence and other personality traits to be the key to effective leadership. Accordingly, these academics thought that good leaders use their inborn talents to dominate followers and tell them what to do, with the goal either of injecting them with enthusiasm and willpower that they would otherwise lack or of enforcing compliance. Such theories suggest that leaders with sufficient character and will can triumph over whatever reality they confront.

"In recent years, however, a new picture of leadership has emerged, one that better accounts for leadership performance. In this alternative view, effective leaders must work to understand the values and opinions of their followers—rather than assuming absolute authority—to enable a productive dialogue with followers about what the group embodies and stands for and thus how it should act. By leadership, we mean the ability to shape what followers actually want to do, not the act of enforcing compliance using rewards and punishments.

"Given that good leadership depends on constituent cooperation and support, this new psychology of leadership negates the notion that leadership is exclusively a top-down process. In fact, it suggests that to gain credibility among followers, leaders must try to position themselves among the group rather than above it."

Of course, how one goes about "positioning oneself among the group" is a huge variable to good leadership, as are the values and opinions of followers. These, too, can be developed.

Leadership effectiveness is the product of individual ability to be the architect of culture, to understand the values and attitudes of followers (who may be colleagues as well as direct reports), and to inspire the contributions, cooperation and mutual support of the people around the would-be leader.

Taken further, the measure of a leader is how well he or she develops a culture of leadership, where all constituents are ready to lead when the context needs their unique contribution.

According to this new approach, no fixed set of personality traits can assure good leadership because the most desirable traits depend on the nature of the group being led and the context at hand. Author Mark DeVries has discovered five decisions that we believe profoundly reflect the ability to develop a healthy leadership culture:

1. Deliver Results - The most dramatic way to change any culture is to provide evidence that good things are happening. Success breeds success. Leaders must deliver results. Identify a single visible result and go after it to produce a small victory. Speed up the production of good results and you accelerate climate change.
2. Trust the Process - Change takes time and is far more often the product of incremental small wins than monumental victories. A series of small wins creates the potential for incremental revolution. We may explore this element further in a future blog.
3. Import Joy into the Chaos - Interesting, but I have found that even high-performing teams will crash and burn sooner or later if they do not learn to celebrate well together. Research has shown that groups that laugh together are consistently better at solving problems together than the folks who strictly "stick to business". The most effective leaders maintain a "playful detachment", as DeVries describes it, "from those triggers that cause people to spiral into negativity and reactive blaming."
4. Instill Stories and Metaphors - Every group develops cultural norms or what we sometimes call "rules of fair play"; these at once reflect the culture and define it. As DeVries writes, groups "tend to live into the words that are spoken about them." Leaders must recognize the impact of language, encourage and offer stories and metaphors that promote a positive leadership culture.
5. Embrace Rituals and Traditions, Signs and Symbols - These confirm cultural identity. Ever worked with a group that has office potlucks from time to time - what I call "grazing tables"? The culture-building power of breaking bread together is historic. Do you allow people to decorate their work space? When we work with groups on "team building", we often challenge them to come up with a team name and a team cheer that reflects the team they aspire to be. Sometimes that cheer becomes part of a team vernacular that far outlives the team building event. We recently did some culture and process work with a university at which the president simply turned over leadership of his monthly all-campus staff meetings to a team, which seemed to pull back the curtains exposing once-hidden sunshine and a positive new climate. Even standard operating procedures can contribute to your team's cultural identity.

We all have the potential for leadership and, therefore, need leadership development. It is our responsibility as leaders to cultivate a climate for leadership, where everyone has a role and the ongoing opportunity to develop and practice as a leader.

If your organization or team needs assistance in developing leadership or a more powerful leadership culture, call Mark Sturgell at 217-362-0500 or email askthecoach@pdncoach.com.

The Intersection of Leadership and The Leadership Culture Part 1

I worked with a group of bright, young leaders representing high schools from three different communities this morning and was shocked at their perceptions of leadership. Most see leadership as something involving the need to tell people what they need to do and how to do it, and leaders as the people who are equipped to "get things done".

As we stood in a circle I asked, based on their experience, what happens first when a group first recognizes the task at hand. The first response was, "Someone speaks up with an idea." The group also conceded to my suggestion that often that same person makes an aggressive move to the middle, collapsing the circle while making a "power move" toward half the group and turning his or her back to the rest. Thus, those with the natural tendency to be loud, agressively take charge, act impulsively and isolate team members tend to be seen as leaders.

I am not sure where young people are learning such things. Good leadership is generally becoming understood to be less about "command-and-control" and "natural-born ability", which once dominated the organizational landscape, and more about something else. That "something else" can be a moving target at times since there are those who still harbor the ideal of the Born Leader as opposed to the potential for the Developed Leader that exists in everyone.

Many people in modern society, but not everyone, believe in the need for leadership development (at least for others if not for themselves!). In other words, people from both schools of thought recognize the need for leadership ability. The differences between the Born Leader and Developed Leader camps are rooted in the beliefs about who is most capable of benefiting from leadership development and what development should entail.

The Born Leader folks tend to believe that some people have the precious few inherent traits that make leadership a destiny and that some new skills will enhance the impact of those traits. The Developed Leader folks tend to believe all people have inherent strengths AND the potential for leadership, therefore, anyone can reach the heights of leadership.

At Performance Development Network we operate on the premise that each of us has potential for leadership that can best be leveraged by developing our existing strengths, recognizing that many of those existing traits are also the product of both "nurture and nature". Therefore, neither celebrating or mourning natural traits is worthy of much attention as is the need to nurture one's attitudes, abilities and interests.

We also acknowledge that effective leadership has much to do with individual potential for "rising" to opportunity, context or circumstance. The most effective leaders do not just react to circumstance or wait for opportunity to define them as leaders. Instead, good leaders define themselves in a way that prepares them to respond accordingly to most any circumstance or opportunity as they appear.

We all have the potential for leadership and, therefore, need leadership development. It is our responsibility as leaders to cultivate a climate for leadership, where everyone has a role and the ongoing opportunity to develop and practice as a leader.

If your organization or team needs assistance in developing leadership or a more powerful leadership culture, call Mark Sturgell at 217-362-0500 or email askthecoach@pdncoach.com.

Leadership and the Myth of Balance

It is pretty hard to be a leader and live at The Intersection of Purpose and Now when you are constantly pressed for time. This nearly 7-minute Harvard Business School interview with Stewart Friedman, Professor, University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School titled "Be a Better Leader, Live a Richer Life" is worth watching. His message (and ours):

Traditional thinking pits work and the rest of our lives against each other. But taking smart steps to integrate work, home, community, and self will make you a more productive leader and a more fulfilled person.

People wonder about the "leadership coaching" that is at the heart of much of our work with individuals as well as teams and organizations. They sometimes either don't connect the struggles they face as leaders at work with the struggles they face at home, don't accept the difficulty of self-correcting the challenges and blind spots they face, or they fail to recognize the power and efficiency of seeking outside help.

Most people want to be more effective leaders; they want more effective leadership. The best leaders recognize two things that they must do in order to be effective:

1. tap into the leadership that exists throughout their organizations;
2. and live a fulfilling life of their own to remain vital to their organizations.

Friedman sometimes uses a different language than I prefer, but in a significant way is saying the same thing as we do. "Balance", though a popular term, is not necessarily what we need or even really want. Traditionally, "balance" has meant a person is making sacrifices while attempting to schedule her priorities and stick with them.

Typically, the "balanced" life is an over-saturated one pitting professional commitments against personal priorities and "playing for a tie game", so to speak.

Life is not simply about trade-offs. Leaders must learn to seek an integrated life with focused priorities that determine how they use their time (wherever they are at the time), as opposed to a balanced life (splitting their time). Leadership growth is accentuated when the leader recognizes the pitfalls of trying to fit all of his priorities into his schedule, and begins to schedule his priorities instead.

• Are you struggling with keeping your commitments to your work, your home, your community and your self?
• What are your real priorities? To find out, record exactly how you use your time, in 15-minute increments, for 5 consecutive days. Don't cheat or guess or make up how you used a block of time; if you forget to keep track just start over. Once you complete this activity, look at the percentages and you will have a rough idea of your current real priorities.
• If you don't like the results (those things to which you are devoting higher percentages of time are not what you want them to be), you have some work to do.
  
• How might this be affecting your leadership? How do you know? (consider asking those around you: your subordinates, peers, customers, your boss or other stakeholders)

If you ever feel like you are "over-committed", in reality you are probably under-committed to your true priorities that provide a center to your fulfillment, happiness, personal well-being, decision-making, time management and leaders.

You may need help identifying and clarifying your true priorities, as well as how you might integrate them - rather than always choosing between them. Busy, highly responsible leaders who are stretching themselves to pursue a vision may find it difficult to integrate work, home, community and self and stay healthy. If this is you, consider hiring a coach.

Lessons From Aunt Beck - Lesson #4: Oh, To Be 60 Again

by Becky Morris
continued from August 5, 2009

By the 7th hole, Aunt Beck was kicking our collective butts. The other two women and me were just watching wide-eyed and open-mouthed at her steady approach to the tee box and the ever-so-accurate putts. We were shaking our heads in amazement and by this time we were just making fun of ourselves due to frustration.

As she walked up to tee off, we were having our own private conversation about how we hope to be playing as well as she was at the age of 60, not even contemplating the possibility of playing at 90. Evidently Aunt Beck’s hearing is as accurate as her golf game because right before she hit the ball she stated, “Oh to be 60 again!”

When the three of us heard this we needed to find the nearest port-a-potty because our laughter was out of control. Here we are in our late 40’s early 50’s, worrying about such important things as wrinkle control, menopause, issues at work, kids, grandkids, retirement and everything else under the sun and this woman was just thinking about going back to a place we hadn’t even reached. I can honestly say I never thought I would hear someone make such a statement.

How refreshing to hear someone who has lived for so long who wants 30 more years!

Living at The Intersection of Purpose and Now
At a quarterly gathering last week, our friend and colleague Chris Sopa gave a keynote about relieving stress. One of Chris’ key points was to live in the now. We often spend too much valuable time worrying about all of the “what-ifs” and “could haves” that either might happen in the future or did not happen in the past. She said if we could just stay in the present and focus on the task at hand, how much easier and enjoyable our lives would be.

I am going to borrow an exercise that Chris had us do:

• Find a piece of paper, sticky note or 3” x 5” card.
• Across the top write “Don’t believe everything you think”
• Now write down some limiting thought you may have, i.e. “I will never have enough money to afford (an item that you have always dreamed of having) or I will never be able to lose _____ lbs.”
• Now turn that around into a positive statement, such as: "People find the money for the things they really want” or “I can lose 2 lbs per week.”

It’s all about our attitudes, understanding our priorities, turning the negatives into positives, facing the challenges head-on, identifying our limiting obstacles - but instead of being defeated, we find all of the possible solutions. How often do you write down the benefits of achieving your goals and then affirm yourself into knowing you can do it?

I never thought I would want to live to 90, but after meeting Aunt Beck it has changed my perspective. The ironic part of all of this is, she was only playing a game she loves and having a casual conversation with an inquisitive partner. Even if I try to tell her, I doubt she will ever fully understand the impact she has had on my life.

And that is often how it is when we meet people at The Intersection of Purpose and Now. Once again, Thank you, Aunt Beck!

Lessons from Aunt Beck - Lesson #3: Living with No Regrets

by Becky Morris
continued from August 3, 2009

When we got to hole #4, the conversation between Aunt Beck and I was really flowing. We had established a bond. I was asking a lot of questions and Aunt Beck was getting to tell her story and what a phenomenal story it was. I was just trying to soak up as much of her wisdom as she was willing to share. I doubt she even felt she was imparting any wisdom, but she was.

So I asked her this question, “Looking back over your life and the past 90 years, if you had anything to do over, what would it be?”

Aunt Beck thought for a few seconds and answered, “Absolutely nothing."

Now I was expecting a bit more than this. I figured everyone had at least one “mulligan” they would use if they had the opportunity. For me, there was a time I might have had a hard time listening to the Frank Sinatra song “I Did It My Way” because of the line that goes something like, “regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again, too few to mention”. There was a time when I seemed to have a lot of regrets in my life. Regrets like wrong decisions, misused words, time I have wasted, etc.

But as I think about Aunt Beck’s response, I am reminded that every decision I have made seemed like the right decision at the time. So, if I had to do it over again, I would probably make the same decision. Aunt Beck doesn’t need any mulligans, and I won’t either.

I can change the way I view my regrets – “They are life lessons” - and I can appreciate what changed because of those decisions. That’s looking back, but I still have a long way to go until I reach 90. So I can also look ahead with much greater Purpose, with greater intention and, therefore with greater passion for what is right. Put the two perspectives together and when I’m 90 if someone asks, “If you could do anything over, what would it be?” my response will be:

“I would do absolutely nothing over, I don’t have time to do anything over because I have so much yet to do!”

Five Steps to Better Decisions
How can you avoid regrets, especially when it comes to decision making? We believe there is an effective methodology to making great decisions. The process looks like this:

1. Identify the problem or question – the process of clarifying the problem begins to bring solutions to light and also helps determine how serious the problem is.
2. Gather and analyze information – this step is absolutely critical if you are going to feel comfortable and confident with a decision.
3. Develop and choose alternative solutions – after analyzing the information, you will realize that there are a number of choices before you. Rarely does a decision only have one alternative. Keep asking, “What other possibilities are there?” It is far easier to choose the best alternative from many than it is to accept the best answer from among a few.
   
4. Take action – decisions are only mental exercises and do not yield results until they are put into action.
5. Review and evaluate decisions – this will allow you to change or alter your action if the decision is not yielding the right results and it allows you to evaluate your progress as a decision maker and thus improve your decision making ability.

Living with no regrets? Life without mulligans? I believe it is very possible. I don’t have time for regrets, because I have too much I still want to do.

I Want to Leave a Legacy

There are more Lessons from Aunt Beck coming this week, but today we want to remind our readers of the express purpose for this blog.

We are always looking to learn from your stories about living at The Intersection of Purpose and Now, as well as give you practical guidance on how to live the remarkable life that is calling you. One who tells this story well is singer Nichole Nordeman with her song "Legacy". Read and take in the lyrics, enjoy the YouTube video, blip and Twitter the song to others. Most of all, consider the message and join us at The Intersection.

Lyrics to Legacy, by Nichole Nordeman

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all the who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such 'n such...it wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an "Atta boy" or "Atta girl"
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
the temporary trappings of this world

Chorus:
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to you enough to make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who blessed Your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthy list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon destroy

Chorus

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well done" good and faithful one

Chorus

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me

Lessons from Aunt Beck - Lesson #2: Keeping Score

by Becky Morris

I am a stickler for accuracy. When golfing, it is very important for me to keep track of my shots and report the number accurately. It is also very important to me for those with whom I am golfing to do the same thing. There have been times when I have found myself helping my golf partner count strokes (of course, they are not aware of this; I am just keeping a mental tally). Such was the case the day I golfed with “Aunt Beck”, my new 90-year-old golfing buddy. This is the second article in a series about lessons learned from Aunt Beck that began with “Don’t Always Go For the Long Ball”.

Aunt Beck may not be as much of a stickler when it comes to keeping an accurate score as I am. I am not suggesting that she cheats; heck, when you are 90 why would you need to cheat at golf? For her, it was more about losing track of her strokes. She was not trying to cheat or be deceptive, she simply forgot. My first inclination was to get it right; then I realized how trivial this seemed. In the broad scope of things, what did the comparison of our scores really matter?

How much trivial score-keeping do you have in your life? I define score-keeping as “measuring your results against the results of someone else”. Score-keeping doesn’t mean you are necessarily tracking the result you personally desire. Rather, with score-keeping your focus is on how much better or worse your results are compared to those of someone else – a competitor, a sibling, a spouse, a colleague, a golf partner.

How are my kids doing in school? Am I looking at my children from the viewpoint of how well they could do compared to how well they did, or am I looking at how well they did compared to someone else? There are many other areas in which people often “keep scores”: income, size and location of your house, the vehicle(s) you drive, personal body type (height, weight), and all the other insignificant measures of comparison.

• How do the "scores" of others really matter to you?
• Why do they really matter?
• How much pressure and dissatisfaction do these comparisons bring into your life?
• How might your life change if you measured what you have or need instead of what you want because someone else has it?
• How might this change the perspective about score-keeping change your life?

A couple of years ago I started keeping a Dream Inventory. What a powerful thing, this Dream Inventory! It is a great reflective tool to consider and record what I would like to accomplish in the remaining years of my life. I record everything I want to have, to do, to become…everything. No one else has seen this Dream Inventory; it is strictly mine.

My Dream Inventory allows me to:

• list anything that I would like to do, be, accomplish, see, achieve, attain
• think about what I must do differently to make these dreams become reality
• prioritize the dreams I could achieve in the next year, 2 years and further out
• develop specific plans to make these dreams become reality
• inspired me to start doing things differently to get these new results – not because someone else has them, but because they are my dreams

It is a great thrill and honor to win a game of golf, or a swim meet, or a 5K run…, but the best goal for any game is to get your best score, not to beat someone else at the game. Competition helps motivate us to pursue and achieve our goals, but when competition becomes the goal, we lose something. We become score-keepers trying to beat the dreams of someone else rather than achieve our own.

Aunt Beck, thank you for making me stop and analyze the insignificance of score-keeping. Thank you for helping me to stay focused on my own dreams, and how I need to measure my own progress toward those dreams.