The Measure of a Leader: Employee Engagement & Loyalty

Most managers, and the companies they work for, quickly and decisively deal with employee absenteeism. After all, unscheduled absences cost organizations hundreds of dollars per employee, decrease productivity and visibly affect the bottom line. Typically, the work culture is really to blame and creating a culture where employees want to work is ultimately the solution.

There is a far more common problem than absenteeism, however. "Presenteeism" is a term I believe effectively describes employees who are disengaged with their workplace and with the work they do. Absenteeism is when employees do not show up for work. Presenteeism can be even more troubling: employees are showing up for work, but they leave their hearts and minds somewhere else. Once again, culture is often at the heart of both the problem and the solution. Leadership provided by management is key to creating an attractive work culture.

The book First Break All the Rules: What the World's Greatest Managers Do Differently (Marcus Buckingham & Curt Coffman) used data collected over 25 years with a million employees to identify the basic roles of a great leader/manager. The potential effect of great leadership was summarized in the 12 questions employees ask - and the measure of successful management lies in if and how leaders provide the answers:

Do I know what is expected of me at work?

Do I have the materials and equipment I need to do my work right?

At work, do I have the opportunity to do what I do best everyday?

In the last seven days, have I received recognition or praise for doing good work?

Does my supervisor or someone at work seem to care about me as a person?

Is there someone at work who encourages my development?

At work, do my opinions seem to count?

Does the mission/purpose of my company make me feel my job is important?

Are my co-workers committed to doing quality work?

Do I have a best friend at work?

In the last six months, has someone at work talked to me about my progress?

This last year, have I had the opportunity at work to learn and grow?

As a leader, how would you answer the questions above if asked by your employees? What do they think? Your role as a leader is to ensure your employees get satisfactory answers to these questions. Do so, and you make your workplace an attractive place to be and a desirable place to work.

If you’re not sure, you are missing an opportunity to use the most valuable link to peak performance - keeping your staff learning and engaged. According to Fast Company Magazine, here is how the U.S. World work population segments out:

• 26% Engaged (we call them Enhancers - loyal and productive)
• 55% Not Engaged (we call them Neutralizers - just putting in time)
• 19% Actively Disengaged (we call them Diminishers - unhappy and spreading their discontent)

The cost of employee disengagement is alarming. Lack of Employee Loyalty always shows up in your Customer Loyalty Score. Most organizations need outside help to erase the gap between leadership vision and the daily habits of your employees. Internal consultants are too close to the problem, if not part of the problem, they have too much to lose to make proper recommendations for action, and they seldom have true independent authority to drive required action.

The cost of employee disengagement can destroy a company. The rewards are significant for closing the gap between company strategy and the desire of employees to engage in that strategy.

Do you want to secure your legacy as a leader? Start scheduling time with your employees to seriously discuss these 12 questions. Come up with the right answers and you will be a hero to everyone.

Are You The Captain of Your Own Development?

"Self-education has never been more fun, and that is because we are in control of that process like never before."

When I read this statement in an article in Fast Company magazine by staffer Tyler Cowen, it was as if a loosely thematic idea in my mind had finally found its voice and direction. Actually, the entire article was filled with what, for me, were loose ideas that have been wandering the deserts of my mind to find the oasis of Cowen's thematic profundities:

"More and more, 'production' ...has become interior to the human mind rather than set on a factory floor."

"...the 'human capital dividend.' The reallocation of consumer time into the 'free sector' on the Web will liberate the efforts of many producers and intermediaries, just as the automobile's advent shifted workers out of making buggies for the horse."

"The Web unites millions of diverse individuals, who interact and sometimes even meet up or marry."

To be fair, I suggest you read the entire article, titled "One Lesson From the Crisis: It's Time to Create Your Own Economy". For me, the bottom line is that we have countless opportunities to be constantly learning, many of them requiring time but little to no money. These may not be the best learning opportunities, but they can play an important, iterative role in self development if pursued with an economy of purpose. Economy of purpose? Yes, I mean a careful, organized, functional, even thrifty management of personal growth and direction.

How random!
Kids these days have made common the phrase, "That was random." When friends and colleagues ask me to "explain" Twitter to them, I evoke this phrase and suggest that Twitter is "random micro-blogging". In fact, Twitter as a medium disseminates information from people in a fashion that is about as random as it gets. [I'm getting old: not only have I now started a paragraph with "Kids these days...", but my contemporaries still ask me the follow-up question, "...and what is this 'blogging' thing all about?"] But I learn from Twitter as long as I invest my time twittering with an economy of purpose. I am certainly inspired by communications from some of my twiends and distilling my thoughts into 140-character tweets is a great discipline.

The problem
But there is a problem in all this opportunity: while each of us has more and more control over our own education and development, most people are approaching personal and professional development in a more and more random fashion, with little design, based on decisions ruled by impulse rather than intention, and heavily reliant on circumstantial grace. By "circumstantial grace", I mean people rely on either their employers or the government to determine and finance their choices and possibilities, as well as the degree, location and value of personal learning investments. This is basic "entitlement thinking" at its most dangerous.

In an era of the greatest possibility for personal freedom, we are becoming a nation filled with "victims of circumstance".

Adults still exercise personal freedom in accepting employer-sponsored training, and even make personal sacrifices in pursuing traditional post-secondary education. Any other interests, needs or opportunities too often are random acts of learning. The effect: less rigor, less retention, less value to serve the purpose of their lives and the world around them. Exceptions abound, evidenced by the growth of the training and development industry, but that growth is fueled by people at the high end of a wide learning curve.

Don't get me wrong, I am all about serendipitous learning (that is, I advocate taking advantage of random opportunities for learning and development). Why else would I have an active Twitter account?! Why else would I write a blog and read voraciously on divergent subjects. Why else would I encourage my readers to make time for "meandering" in their lives? Even the proverbial "Ah, ha" moments of discovery learning and the reflective learning that often follows, however, have more power in context. We have the responsibility to create context for our own learning. We must become the captains of our own development.

You want to do what?
What I am finding is just the opposite. Within the past month, I have been approached by three individuals who, during our initial conversations, have made very strong cases, for themselves, to hire me as their business coach. They cite both compelling and measurable rewards for investing their time, hard-earned money and commitment to change that is necessary for working with me. They state clearly what they consider the high costs or consequences of not hiring a coach. They have been ready to make decisions but, rightly so, want to discuss it with a spouse or loved one before they "write the check" and get started. I've been around the block a few times - I have experienced this directly in my own marriage - so I inform them that the most likely response from a significant other when you seek their approval to invest in personal change is usually something like, "You want to do what?"

In their parable, The Dream Giver, authors Bruce Wilkinson and Heather Kopp describe how Nobody, who lived in the Land of Familiar, decided to leave home to pursue his Dream. I love this book. I highly recommend it. The Dream Giver demonstrates how it is often the people closest to us, those who love us the most, who often pull back on us the hardest when we seek to grow, to change, to go somewhere beyond the Land of Familiar. This happens because if we change our lives, their lives must change through loss of propinquity and not by choice. They may not choose to join you on your journey, but if you pursue your journey, they are left changed by your pursuit.

"Then he had a surprising idea. Couldn't it be that maybe the Dream Giver gave every Nobody a Dream, but only some embraced their dreams? And even fewer pursued them?..." (page 18)

"...But Ordinary, that journey is anything but sensible or safe. Why leave familiar? It's so comfortable here. And besides, you've always lived here." (page 19)

Not one of my three recent prospects I referenced earlier, so far, has made the final decision to invest in his or her own development. In one case, a woman was convinced by her husband that she needed to see a psychologist for therapy instead (after all, his company's Employee Assistance Program would pay for it), and that's what she has chosen to do!

There is a cost, sometimes a high cost, when you commit to change. The currency of change comes in the form of finances, of time, of re-negotiated relationships. Ultimately, it is all one currency - your commitment to change.

When I describe these costs to people thinking about pursuing any kind of personal or professional development, I suggest they do the following, and I suggest you do this, too:

1. Tally up how much money and time you spent on personal entertainment in the past 12 months. Try to be as accurate as possible. Include everything from movies and popcorn, to dining out, to new TVs and home electronics, to travel vacations.
2. Next, tally up how much money and time you invested in personal or professional development in the past year. Again, try to be as accurate and inclusive as possible. Keep in mind that learning, though often a struggle in process, is typically fun and fulfilling as a result.
   
3. Consider the difference between these two sums.
   

I believe the most accurate gauges of Personal Values is your checkbook and your calendar - how you spend your money and time. The simple activity above, then, reveals a highly accurate measurement.

• If you have completed your activity above, which do you value more: Self Indulgence or Self Development?
• If you value indulgence over development, you are living at the "Intersection of Impulse and Now."
• If you value growth over indulgence, you are living at The Intersection of Purpose and Now.

You are responsible for creating the context for your own growth and happiness. It is a matter of choice.

We are designed to live in community

by Becky Morris

A commentator on my favorite radio stations recently made the statement “We are designed to live in community”. I found a napkin in my car and wrote it down so I wouldn’t forget it. The statement had an affect on me; I wasn’t sure what it was at the time.

This weekend I was reading the book The Shack by William P. Young and, again, there was a line in the book that reads “You are designed to be in community”. Why was it I kept hearing this line and why did it resonate with me? In the book, the line comes from God - so I figured that was worth exploring a bit further!

Anyone who has taken a business or psychology course has heard of Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, in which “love and belonging” is at the third level of his hierarchical pyramid. So what does this mean? Why do we have such a need to belong? Why do we want to be loved? Why do we need community? Better yet, what is community?

Merriam-Webster defines community as:

1: a unified body of individuals: as a: state, commonwealth; b: the people with common interests living in a particular area ; broadly : the area itself community; c: an interacting population of various kinds of individuals (as species) in a common location; d: a group of people with a common characteristic or interest living together within a larger society (a community of retired persons); e: a group linked by a common policy; f: a body of persons or nations having a common history or common social, economic, and political interests community; g: a body of persons of common and especially professional interests scattered through a larger society community
2: society at large
3 a: joint ownership or participation (community of goods); b: common character : likeness (community of interests) c: social activity : fellowship; d: a social state or condition

With this definition in mind, community could be a sports team, a workplace, a church body, a family, or anything you are part of with other individuals with common interests. What is your favorite community? What characteristics of this community help make it your favorite? What do YOU personally bring to this community that makes it special?

Now think of your least favorite community. What if you intentionally and consistently brought more of those same personal traits to this community? Would that make it better? What could you do to improve and affect this least favorite community? Are you part of the problem or part of the solution?

Let's suppose your workplace is your least favorite community. How might it be different if you became the Chief Catalyst for making it better? (What if your workplace is your favorite community? What does that say about the work you need to do on the rest of your life?)

We all possess the ability to be part of the solution in our communities. It is a matter of choice. It requires important decisions at The Intersection of Purpose and Now.

Everything I know I learned on the toilet?

You might say Becky Morris gets a little “potty mouthed” today, all to make you privy to some thoughtful ideas that we think you will appreciate. MAS

Okay, I am going to take you somewhere today that you may find uncomfortable; however, please go with me. It might conjure up some stinkin’ thinkin’.

Recent fate, and outright necessity, has given me the opportunity to visit some bathrooms of friends who are in the process of potty training their young children. While using these facilities I noticed there are childrens' books all around, which I assume were being used to keep the child on the potty chair a little longer…to increase the chances for success, you might say.

This makes me wonder: So many public and private restrooms I visit have reading materials in them, including the bathrooms in my own home. A lot of people must read on the toilet. I tried to do some secondary research to get statistics on the frequency of lavatorial libraries, but all I could find were several blogs about reading materials in the bathroom. One writer even went so far as to say she felt reading in the bathroom made the world a slightly better place. (I won’t share with you the information I got from the website www.poopreport.com.)

So my own primary research will have to be enough to substantiate my claim that most bathrooms do have some type of literature available for potty patrons. All this makes me think that the apparent wide-spread habit of adults reading “on the go” could be traced back to our early days of potty training. After all, how else would we have learned that the bathroom could be a pretty good place to read? It is relatively quiet, no one else will want to interrupt you, and it could be considered a productive form of multi-tasking. With so much knowledge found in books, magazines and even newspapers, our privies seem like a great place to wipe away our ignorance.

I am guessing that you are a member of the literary latrine society. Come on, admit it. Come out of the proverbial water closet – I bet you have a habit of reading while in the loo, too.

Habits are those things we do daily at a sub-conscious level, with little to no thinking involved. Habits are things we are trained to do, or train ourselves to do, by doing them over and over again. But I never really stopped to think why I read in the bathroom; do you? What other things do I do on a daily basis without thinking? How does that affect my day? What if I stopped doing so many things habitually? What if I began bringing more things to the forefront of my mind and questioned why I do them? What would change? What could be better? Would it change the outcomes of my daily performance?

Taking this even further, I consider attitudes to be “habits of thought” and this brings even more questions. If I thought more about what I am habitually thinking, would it change how I treat other people? How I approach my work? How I treat the clerk who waits on me at the coffee shop? Everyone I come in contact with on a daily basis?

And what about those skills you are still trying to learn or at least improve? What if we took a bit more time with our efforts? What if we found incentives that would keep us positioned a little while longer for a chance at success?

Think about your habits of behavior, your habits of thought, the things you usually do and say without thinking, and the new skills you need or want to learn. Take time to think a bit, maybe read a bit, maybe sit a bit longer, and you might just develop some new attitudes, skills and habits that will change your life for the better.

…and it all started when you were just 2 years old, sitting on the pot, trying to stay just a little longer to learn an important skill that really would change your life forever – and for the better.

Why not take the Magic Carpet Ride?

Today's entry is actually a guest post I wrote for Patrick Badstibner's blog, Grace Through the Desert. Pat is an incredible man with an incredible story. I have included the full article below, but I hope you will also visit Pat's blog today...and often.
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What if the rug that has been pulled out from under you was really a magic carpet ride?

The economy - it has become such a major issue that we personify it by calling it "The Economy" (kind of like "The W" or "The Donald"). People are suffering. We are suffering. My business is down, way down from any historical mark other than my first six months of start-up. Too many potential customers want to "wait and see" what happens next. I kid you not, they are waiting to see if their circumstances change before they make many more decisions. Scary but true; this is true victim thinking.

People who take the "wait and see" approach during tough times want God to make the first move. That's not what he taught the people of Israel when they needed to get to the other side of the Jordon River.

Joshua 3:12-13 (New International Version)

¹² Now then, choose twelve men from the tribes of Israel, one from each tribe. ¹³ And as soon as the priests who carry the ark of the LORD - the Lord of all the earth - set foot in the Jordan, its waters flowing downstream will be cut off and stand up in a heap."

I'm sure the people would rather have said, "God, how about you stop the waters first, THEN we'll step into the river." But God wants us to demonstrate our faithfulness, and He will deliver us.

At times, I feel trapped at the river's edge. I feel like the rug had been pulled out from under me. I have lost my footing, my bearings, my balance, my focus, my nerve...let's face it, I have "lost it". I have wanted to escape my current circumstances, so I pray that God will deliver me. I want Him to make his move. God almost always wants me to "take the first step into the Jordan".

I know I am not alone. Maybe you have felt the same way for reasons unrelated or related to the economy. All of us lose our way from time to time. We risk joining those who merely wait for their circumstances to change. This "wait and see" attitude is especially troubling for me, since I am in the business of helping people get to the other side of whatever challenges they face. I should be able to get to the other side of my own undesirable circumstances. But I wasn't doing it. What was missing?

What are you trying to get to the other side of?
I have become a huge fan of author and emergent church leader Mark Batterson. His books "Wild Goose Chase" and "In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day" continue to inspire me and inform me. "In a Pit with a Lion..." Batterson references a quote from famous psychiatrist Carl Jung saying this about how he helped people:

"Most people came to me with an insurmountable problem. However, what happened was through our work together they discovered something more important than the problem and the problem lost its power and went away."

I find that amazing. I also find it to be true. My coaching clients tend to "solve" their own problems when I help them refocus their attention to intention. That's why I tell them, "No one knows your circumstances better than you. Know one knows the right answers better than you. My role is to help you with the right questions." Sometimes the most valuable service I provide is that I help you recognize how the outcome of your life is determined by your outlook on life. Batterson refraims the issue in this way:

"the circumstances you complain about become chains that imprison you. And worship is the way out."

And worship is the way out... How does that work?
As Christians, don't we say that we follow Christ and that he is in charge of the direction of our lives? Sure, but when we don't like the direction He seems to be directing us, we ask God to change our circumstances, right? Yet, very often, God is behind the very circumstances we find undesirable. "Worshiping our way out" is shifting our focus from what's wrong with our circumstances to what's right with God. Batterson likens it to hitting the refresh key on your computer. "It recalibrates your spirit. It renews your mind."

It's not easy praising God when nothing seems to be going right, I know. I tend to pray that He "make things right" when He already has made things right for what He has planned for me. He's helping me with the right questions. But things sure don't seem right. I want to measure God's love by my current circumstances. That leads me to doubt God in bad times, even to doubt God's existence, let alone His everlasting love.

What if your praise for God wasn't so circumstantial? What if you mixed things up a bit, instead of thanking God for the circumstances you appreciate and begging Him to correct those you cannot appreciate, what if you praised Him throughout - knowing that He IS in charge of your direction?

A struggle designed by God
What if the rug that has been pulled out from under you was really a magic carpet ride designed by God? What if your prayer was "Lord, things are BAD; Jesus take the wheel"? That's our usual response. We fail to recognize that, maybe, we need to keep the wheel but allow Jesus to navigate. He has the map but he may be taking us on a most adventurous ride, on some of the roughest terrain possible. That's what makes life fun, adventurous, meaningful and memorable. Faith doesn't keep us safe; faith traps us at the river's edge where only God knows what will happen next. He does not want us to "wait and see"; He wants us to take the first step and see what He will do in response to our faith.

But we keep trying to grab control. Our problem isn't circumstances. Our problem is perspective.

Proverbs 3:5-6 (New International Version)

⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

⁶ in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

I consider one phase of my career as a 9-year "staging area" that God was using to prepare me for what would happen next. I couldn't understand "how I got here" or why I was thrust into new, undesirable circumstances. I often was unhappy with my circumstances, but I sure am happy where God took me and all He has produced from those years. Those 9 years followed a situation in which I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me, and they led to my Magic Carpet Ride. I wouldn't trade my magic carpet ride for anything.

• I found the love of my life and got married.
  
• I found my Purpose, which guides my every day.
  
• I developed the skills, attitudes, resources and stories to build my own business.
  
• I wrote a book that shapes what is as much my ministry as it is part of my business.
  
• I became the father of three boys, and Ryan (our third) has brought so much more meaning to our lives because God, during those 9 years, was preparing my wife and I for the fact that Ryan has Down Syndrome. Other new parents in our circumstances were grieving; we were celebrating the possibilities this new child would bring into our lives.
  

Why not take the Magic Carpet Ride?
Things may be bad for you right now. Maybe you wouldn't wish your circumstances on anyone. Maybe despair is beginning to edge out your faith and your trust in God. Maybe you are lost, feeling alone and forgotten by God. But there is hope when you put your trust in God. Trust that He has a plan for you.

Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

The Intersection of Hope and Joy

This is a business and personal development blog, but if you have read here for a while now, you have learned some things about me (Mark Sturgell) and now my partner, Becky Morris. One thing you will know is our faith in Christ and how we try (and try...) to live by faith; this is the foundation of our values-driven business. If you don't share our faith, that's fine. Please keep reading anyway. I believe it is my place to invite, not judge, so consider this a friendly invitation to just keep reading because you appreciate what we share at The Intersection of Purpose and Now.

I am going to dig into the effects of our faith more than usual today. You see, I was struck by the lyrics of the popular Matt Redman song, "You Never Let Go", this morning at First Christian Church. Here are the lyrics from the song's chorus:

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go Lord,
You never let go of me

Last year was a very good year for me and my business. This year, not so good. We have had our personal trials and in business as well. So many business decision-makers - our prospective clients - have stopped making decisions, excusing themselves with the victim mantra of "wait and see what happens" with the economy, etc. I have had to become much more proactive and innovative with my business since so many others have become nonactive and stagnate (after all, reducing costs grows nothing). It took a couple of months to adjust strategy, and we are turning things around.


I have experienced great anxiety in these months. My family has had to watch our expenses far beyond anything my wife or I have experienced in our lifetimes. We have had to free up some long-term investments to pay for short-term expenses on our goals. We have built up some debt that we certainly don't like. Thank God, she has a secure, well-paying job. We have gotten by and business is improving.

But throughout these months of admitted fear, near-depression and fitfull nights of sleep, I have been comforted and strengthened by prayer: my own prayers, the prayer and support of my partner, Becky Morris, and the prayers of my Christian community with whom I have openly shared my situation and weaknesses.

Prayer has helped me spend less energy on making plans for God, and more energy seeking God, as author Mark Batterson writes In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day. Batterson writes:

"Faith doesn't reduce uncertainty. Faith embraces uncertainty..."

Despite my fears and tenuous emotions, I have also held onto a firm hope. In the past 30 days, that hope has grown even stronger, not that our financial situation is "back to normal", but because I have been strengthened by hope in God. In fact, I have a certain "kick in my step", a joy that would be hard for some to understand. When others hope for a quick turnaround, I have found myself celebrating the fact that I need hope, now more than ever. I need God.

I believe the stronger and truer your source of hope, the less you can distinguish your need for hope from your desire for celebration. That's the reason the Matt Redmon song struck me so this morning. As I sang along and took the words to heart, I recognized that one could sing this song as a prayer for hope or a song of celebration. The longer we sang, the more I realized there was no separation between hope and joy for me. As a result, there can be no despair.

When times are tough, people hope for improved circumstances. When their circumstances improve, people celebrate. That is the typical approach. I experience something different and I know I am not alone.

When times are tough, I celebrate! I don't hope for something to celebrate. I celebrate because I have hope, hope borne of the possibilities of knowing God's plans are greater than mine ever could be.

If you are struggling, if you are at a "low point", if your hope has grown thin...then consider the source of your hope. The source of my hope is reason to celebrate. As we do so often here at The Intersection of Purpose and Now, I invite you to join me. I hope you do.

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Now playing: Matt Redman - You Never Let Go
via FoxyTunes

What will be your legacy?

by Becky Morris

leg·a·cy (lĕg'ə-sē)

1. Money or property bequeathed to another by will.
2. Something handed down from an ancestor or a predecessor or from the past.

I have been reflecting on the concept and implications of “legacy” since I heard a sermon on Memorial Day weekend. Our pastor was speaking of the legacy of Joshua. It was a very thought-provoking message and it keeps rolling around in my head. However, when I saw the definition that spoke of money or property I could not get excited about the legacy I wanted to leave. It needed to be something deeper, more meaningful, something that would motivate others to good. In this sense, I want to leave a legacy.

Five Generations of Women
This past weekend was spent with some of the most incredible women I know. I say some of the most incredible women because there are even more incredible women in our family that were unable to attend. They are all extremely intelligent, amazingly creative, belly-laughing funny, interesting and just fun to be with.

The best part, they are all related to me.

Our uncle (or father, brother, grandpa depending on who you were in the group) was the only male allowed to be any part of this weekend. On Friday evening he took all of us girls on a sentimental journey. We visited the old homesteads of our great-grandparents and grandparents. He showed us the one-room schoolhouse they attended and the church where they worshiped. We visited the cemetery where all of our family members are buried. It was an awesome way to spend an evening.

As I reflected on our weekend and our ancestral tour, I thought about the legacy of our grandparents, where this whole group started, and the legacy they had left.

It was a legacy of enjoying the times we get to spend together, of laughing, eating, poking fun at one another, playing cards and yes, I’m sorry to say, even cheating at cards when necessary. It was the ability to accept one another as we are and celebrate our differences.

However, the greatest legacy passed on by my grandmother was one of a deep faith and trust in God. My grandmother was a prayer warrior and she has passed this great gift onto every one of us. I am reminded of the responsibility I have to pass on this great legacy to the next generation. What a wonderful way to honor my grandmother and keep her memory alive.

John Maxwell says, “Your reputation is what people think of you now, your legacy is what they will think of you long after you are gone.”

We all leave a legacy. But you don't have to die to leave a legacy. You merely have to be out of sight and beyond earshot. You leave a legacy when you leave a job, complete a project, move on from a role or to another community and, certainly, you leave a legacy when you die. You may leave a legacy when you leave the room!

I like to think that with that comes great responsibility. How will people think of you after you are gone? What will you leave for others to cherish? Will it be more than money (or the lack of it)?

What will be your legacy?

Live your life in a way that is worth telling stories about.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ~ Mark Twain

In 1982, I passed up an opportunity (during my undergraduate college years) to work as an intern in the Press Office of President Ronald Reagan. This was an invitation-only fellowship opportunity and I was invited. I would have lived in our nation's capital and worked in the White House for several months; Washington D.C. is one of my favorite cities. I would have had an incredible, life-changing experience, no doubt. I passed, and I regret it today.

"I can't afford it." - I could barely afford college. While much of the fellowship cost was covered, much was not.
"I have serious problems with Reagan's policies." - I used to refer to "Reaganomics" or "trickle-down economics" as "Pee-in-the-gutter-so-the-folks-downstream-have-something-to-drink economics".

These were the thoughts that kept me from pursuing the opportunity...or so I thought.

Like all of us will be from time to time, I was faced with an opportunity that seemed to require more from me than my own capacity to believe in myself would allow. I focused on the obstacles to the opportunity and allowed those obstacles to become my excuse for saying "no". Those obstacles were very real, but not insurmountable. I never gave myself the opportunity to solve them. I never even gave myself the opportunity to consider if I really wanted to go. I focused on the consequences of going, but never gave a thought to the consequences of not going.

Fact is, I was afraid. Of all the obstacles I would and could have overcome to accept the invitation, fear was my biggest obstacle and I never even acknowledged that fear was paralyzing me. I love my life today, but honestly I wonder how my life would be different had I not allowed fear to by my guide in 1982.

Your fears today may only be half as powerful as your regrets tomorrow.

• What opportunities do you have that seem to require more from you than your own capacity to believe in yourself would allow?
• What are the rewards - what great things could change for you - if you boldly pursued the opportunity?
• What are the consequences if you do NOT pursue the opportunity?
• What obstacles might get in the way or make things difficult for you? (Fear is nearly always an obstacle in some way.)
• Think of two or three potential solutions for each obstacle. Choose the best ones to implement that sufficiently address each obstacle.
• List each step it will take to implement your solutions. Assign a date for when you promise yourself you will take each action.
• Keep your promises.
• Live a courageous life that his worth telling stories about.
  

"...throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." It all happens at The Intersection of Purpose and Now.

You Deserve a Break Today!

Want to get out of your normal routine? If you are anything like me, and most people I know, you want an occasional break from routine. In fact, you probably NEED a break.

A week or two on the Dominican coast would be nice, but you don't have to go that far to develop perspective, feel rested, and restore your sense of energy, focus, creativity, innovation and service. You can take a break right now. (Warning: you will think this is silly nonsense - just try it)

First, relax. Close your eyes. Get used to the darkness behind our eyelids. Take deep breaths, in through the nose, out through your mouth. Relax the muscles in your face. Relax your neck. Relax your shoulders, then your arms, your fingers. Relax your legs and feet, placing them flat on the ground in front of you. Relax. Just relax.

When was the last time you relaxed like this? Brief relaxation routines are a great way to break from routine almost time of day.

How fast do you normally drive across town? Try driving at least 5 miles slower, or even 5 miles slower than the posted speed limit, as long as it is safe.

Take a different route for trips and errand-runs you make often. Take the long way, the scenic say, the circuitous way.

Get a box of crayons. Smell them. Choose your favorite color. Write a quick note to someone, inspired by the crayon, and mail it or give it to them next time you see the person.

Make a list of your dreams. I have blogged on this activity in the past (just search "dreams"). Make a list of at least 100 things you dream of having, doing, becoming.

Take one of your dreams that seems just beyond your reach and consider, "Why do I want it? What would be the consequence of just letting it go?" If your answer to the latter is at all painful, that's a good sign you want it! Now make a list of all the reasons (obstacles) you have not achieved this dream, or what might get in the way of achieving your dream. Next, think of some possible solutions to each obstacle you listed. Are there solutions you could implement for each? Then take action. Read The Incredible Power of Goal Achievement or the related Prequel for examples of what can happen from listing your dreams.

Tomorrow, set a goal to experience Five Positive Recordable Interactions with other people. In other words, these must be positive interpersonal experiences that stand out - that break from routine. You must experience at least five. The neat thing here is that, if it gets late in the day and you are running behind, you can always initiate an interaction yourself! I love doing this and have gotten to know some people I would never have met otherwise...those were truly memorable moments.

These are just a few simple ideas that can help you break from routine and energize your creativity. For more on developing new perspective, read What You See is What You Get.

Worthwhile Goals, Freely Chosen, Change Everything

“What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for a worthwhile goal, a freely chosen task. What he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost, but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him."

~Victor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning

Man's Search for Meaning is one of the great books that every person should read at least once in a lifetime. Make that 2 or 3 times. I love this particular quote from Frankl because it gets at the very heart of finding The Intersection of Purpose and Now: the tension of "striving and struggling for a worthwhile goal, a freely chosen task" is what brings us alive. We are most alive and On Purpose when in pursuit of a goal we value deeply.

Begging their forgiveness, I'm going to tell you a little about my two oldest sons, Tyler and Dylan. They are both great kids. I remember when Tyler was in sixth grade and Dylan was in fourth grade. Our family was eating dinner. Dylan made the observation that he had been "going out" with a girl for five months. Then he casually looks over at his brother and says, "Tyler, you went out with a girl for five days one time". Of course, "going out" with a girl in fourth grade doesn't mean much (Mom and Dad were making sure it didn't mean much!).

We remember this story for two reasons. First, it is funny to discuss with kids what "going out" means at that age. Second, because it demonstrated a contrast, at an early age, between our two boys. By middle school, Dylan had the next five-plus years of his life planned out. Tyler couldn't tell you what he wanted five minutes from now.

Times have changed, and I think of the Frankl quote now when I think of Tyler and the critical importance of having goals in our lives. Tyler is a hockey player. He wants to be on the ice all the time. He wants to get better. He has had to get better, since he chose to swim competitively instead of play hockey for three years at a formative stage, but he has caught up with his peers again. Tyler wants to play competitive hockey for as long as he can. He has dreams of playing for a major university team and playing professionally.

The pursuit of hockey goals has changed Tyler. The most striking example of the change comes from a conversation I had with him this spring. He is planning to live with a host family in another community during his senior year of high school to play on a Junior hockey team and increase his chances of being scouted for a chance to move up. He wants to attract interest from college teams.

This goal - to attract college and professional scouting interest - has changed Tyler's outlook on everything else. He knows grades will be critical to his hockey career, and he has worked to raise his GPA. He knows his statistics will attract attention, so he has posted them online. He knows his coach's evaluations will be considered, so he is making sure those coaches are ready to provide their insights into his potential. He knows he will have 6:30 a.m. practices next year, before he goes to school - so he immediately switched his daily workouts at the fitness center to 6:30 a.m.

He knows he needed to make money for expenses next year so he got a job. I was amazed when he zeroed in on McDonalds for his job. (He had always said he would "never" work at McDonalds.) Tyler's explanation: he needed a job that would transfer easily when he moved this fall and again when he returns home in March - McDonald's was the perfect solution. And he's working his tail off (we don't get that at home too often).

Finally, I made a comment to Tyler about how he might think about joining the National Guard to pay for his education if hockey doesn't take him as far as he wants. His response?

"Dad, that's my plan. Why do you think I've been talking to the recruiters at school so much?"

Of course, I didn't know he had ever talked to National Guard recruiters, but my point is this: Here is a boy that just a year or more ago couldn't tell you what he wanted to achieve in the next 5 minutes, let alone 5 months or 5 years. Yet striving and struggling for a worthwhile goal, freely chosen, has changed everything about him. He is quickly becoming a young man with a purpose.

• What is it that you want that brings you alive just thinking about it?
• Have you turned it into a goal?
• Are you willing to risk striving and struggling to pursue your dream? How do you know?

A worthwhile goal changes everything. Meaningful goals bring you the unique, healthy tension one can experience only at The Intersection of Purpose and Now.

What is the worthwhile goal, that by merely pursuing it you might begin the next stage of life with a deeper feeling of significance than you have ever experienced before?

My Own Worst Enemy

She said it at least three times in 30 minutes: "I am my own worst enemy."

It's a common phrase, really, we hear it all the time. Perhaps you've said it yourself. You have probably thought so at some point. What does it really mean? Why would anyone say such a thing? I mean, have you ever really had a "worst enemy"? The terrorist network al-Qaeda comes to mind when I think of "worst enemy". Deadly, hateful, elusive, destructive... So to think, "I am my own worst enemy" - Wow. Yet many of us really are "our own worst enemies"...because we think like we are.

This particular person is a relatively successful self-employed writer who dreams of having her byline read by thousands (millions?) in the finest magazines: the ones you typically find on coffee tables and in doctors' reception lounges. She has the ability to pursue her dream. Does she have the capability? That was the question that inspired her to call me.

a·bil·i·ty (ə-bĭl'ĭ-tē) : The quality of being able to do something, especially the physical, mental, financial, or legal power to accomplish something.

ca·pa·bil·i·ty (kā'pə-bĭl'ĭ-tē): The capacity to be used, treated, or developed for a specific purpose.

She had scheduled a "free consultative call" with me; something I promise anyone who wants one. She had attended one of my seminars a year ago, and was getting serious about hiring a coach. I am always honored when someone, a complete stranger really, trusts me enough to share his or her heart's desires after a limited encounter with me...especially when it happens a year after we met!

In our email conversation about scheduling her free coaching call, I suggested she think about how she would want to use our time together.

And that's how the call began...her saying something like, "I'm not sure how I want to use this time." Second, she reminded me she was a professional writer. The third thing she said was, "I guess I am my own worst enemy in realizing my potential in the freelance market."

Think carefully about the implications of those types of personal declarations:

• I know who I am, or at least how I identify myself.
  
• I'm not sure how I want to use my time.
  
• I feel like I am working against myself in realizing my potential.

My relatively successful writer went on to describe her self-doubts in more detail. "Was her dream worth the effort? If she could change anything she would change how she uses her time. She longs for more self-discipline. She wants to identify some concrete goals and have someone to help her be accountable to those goals over time. She recognizes the need to 'reprogram' her internal attitudes about herself. Her insecurities as a writer despite her proven success."

The conversation continued, of course, and ultimately she decided she wanted to hire me as her coach.

How about you?

How do you identify yourself?

Are you completely satisfied with how you use your time?

How are you realizing your full potential? How do you know?

Are you your "own worst enemy"?

What are you doing about it? How is that working?

How would your life be different if each day was filled and focused with a keen sense of Purpose?