Ships at a distance have every man's wish on board...

Today, I will be brief. This weekend will be a glorious one, invested at a Father/Son camp with my middle boy, Dylan, who is almost 15. So my post today will be brief, borrowed and, I hope you will agree, a powerful end note to my emphasis this week on the power of dreams, goals and goal achievement.

Ships at a distance have every man's wish on board. For some they come in with the tide. For others they sail forever on the horizon, never out of sight, never landing until the Watcher turns his eyes away in resignation, his dreams mocked to death by Time. That is the life of men.

Now, women forget all those things they don't want to remember, and remember everything they don't want to forget. The dream is the truth. Then they act and do things accordingly.

This is from the opening paragraph of the classic novel Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston.

My wish for my children - and for you - is that your wishes will come in with the tide or you will find a way to board the ship on which they sail. Men and women - all - may the right dreams become your truth!

If you wonder if I can help you, just ask and we'll explore your dreams together.

Remember, your dreams do not have to sail past you, forever on the horizon.

Prequel: The Incredible Power of ... Goal Achievement

Yesterday, my friend Jodie Brooks allowed me to present her as my guest blogger and share with you her ecstatic email after launching her Jodie Brooks Photography business and website. Is she an absolute delight, or what? Her photography is absolutely technically sound and she communicates uniquely with each photo as art.

I met Jodie, already an incredibly talented, vivacious and dynamic young leader, when she attended the ISAE Leadership Institute (I am a faculty member) a couple of years ago. Then, at her invitation, I had the great pleasure to provide her with some additional coaching following the Institute series completion. She was (and still is) succeeding with her professional role in association work as a communications specialist, but she wanted more...

So Jodie's fieldwork from me after that first coaching session was to answer the question, "More of what?" I suggested she do this in the form of a Dream Inventory, and she immediately set to work at listing at least 100 dreams. Jodie was, and had been, quite a dreamer so this activity came easy.

Two of the dreams she wrote down early on were:

• to attend a red carpet event
• to own a square cut ruby ring

I saw Jodie shortly after that and she could barely contain herself, excited to tell me a story. Within days of recording those two dreams - they came true!

Now, hold on for a second... I am not proposing that writing down your dreams will magically cause them to be granted. No fairy dust involved here, no secret formula, no magic pumpkins. However, writing down your dreams and, more specifically your goals, creates focus among other benefits. And this new focus sometimes, indeed, can work something like a giant electromagnet.

Here is how Jodie retells her story:

"Within two weeks of making my list I received an invite to an event the Peoria Convention and Visitors Bureau was hosting where they were rolling out the red carpet (literally) for a group invited to go to Peoria to have a star experience. Then I was visiting my sister and in one of her famous spend and purge moments she was going through some jewelry and had “gotten tired” of a square cut ruby ring. She said she saw me looking at one similar at a jewelry store and I could have hers if I wanted it. It wasn’t a similar ring – it was the EXACT ring I was looking at and continue to wear today. I wrote those dreams down never thinking I’d go to a red carpet event and would have to wait on my ruby ring until I bought it for myself."

Please understand that these were not the most important or significant dreams Jodie had at the time. I am not sure she would even have turned them into goals eventually, but she never had the opportunity to do; they "came true".

Obviously, living her dream by starting her own photography business was much more important. Of course, she had to make that dream specific. She had to consider the rewards of succeeding and the consequences is she failed to pursue or achieve the dream. And, as she explains quite well, she had to consider all the potential obstacles to her success so she could solve those obstacles if they arose in pursuit of her goal - or prevent them from occurring in the first place, which she did.

Dreams are critically important and can be powerful forces in our lives. They are necessary fuel for our most important life goals. Ultimately, it is our goals, our goal planning and the problem-solving, decision-making and risk-taking that it takes to achieve our goals, which determines whether we will live full, happy lives of significance, or if we will simply endure the life we have.

The Incredible Power of Problem-Solving and Goal Achievement

With permission, by guest blogger Jodie Brooks

Mark, I recently participated in an ISAE (Illinois Society of Association Executives) committee meeting where your name was brought up and I wondered how you were doing so I thought I’d drop you a quick line. So, how are you? I hope things are going well and I’m sure you’re staying busy.

Things are good here. Really busy but it’s all with good stuff. I am still with the Grain and Feed Association and things are great! I’m swamped with stuff to do – which I love – and continue to enjoy making progress and bringing new ideas to the table….some fall flat on their face but there’s a level of freedom and creativity that I truly appreciate.

On a personal front, I recently launched my photography website:

www.jodiebrooksphotography.com

These new developments have been one of the most exciting (and scary) things in my life. It took a really long time but I’m proud of the result and am overwhelmed at the support of my friends and family who have been my biggest fans. I still struggle to get everything done because there’s so much more I have to do…all while also making time to spend with my family and friends, work on the house, clean and …(insert the other million things I feel have to get done NOW here).

It’s been many months since the ISAE leadership series and while I enjoyed and took note of everything you said, I wanted to thank you for one insight in particular.

On our half-hour phone conversation, I had expressed to you my feelings of being overwhelmed and the worry that I would fall flat on my face with this photography thing. You told me to bring up an obstacle and I did then you told me to come up with a solution to that obstacle and I did. You told me to come up with potential obstacles of the solutions and keep whittling it down until I had all the potential problems and solutions mapped out.

Then I realized 2 things: Everything I was faced with actually felt possible because I realized every obstacle had a logical solution. I also realized the importance of focusing on the solutions rather than focusing on the problems. I was intimidated by all of the things that could go wrong but once I came up with solutions, it took the mystery out of everything and I realized there is no reason for me not to be successful. It’s all doable – I just need to work through it.

And since then I have called in a friend who I worked with to design a killer logo (what can I say – I’m biased!). I have done research to find a web developer, learned new computer programs and have tackled learning all the settings to simply set up an e-mail. I’m working now on improving the search functions and how to track my web traffic. It’s scary and fun and exciting and overwhelming and empowering….and I love it all.

Thanks.

Jodie Brooks

Customer Loyalty in Action

by Becky Morris

I just love random actions of kindness. My day started with one and it was fantastic!

Here is what happened:

I stopped in this morning at the Circle K, my new favorite place to get a cup of coffee. They have, in my opinion, the absolute best hazelnut coffee. So on my way to a meeting I decided to get a cup. I ran into the store and the hazelnut pot was empty so I reluctantly chose a different flavor. When I mentioned the hazelnut was empty to the cashier, he said since my only reason for stopping was to get a cup of hazelnut and they were out, my coffee was free. WOW! Now I realize we are only talking $1.29 here, but just the fact that he acknowledged that they did not meet my needs was huge. It was like a double whammy, an act of kindness and increased customer loyalty.

There is even a more amazing piece of this story. Yesterday morning I stopped into the same place to get my favorite coffee and at the time I was on my cell phone and never bothered to even acknowledge the cashier. So I went in this morning intentionally to apologize for my rudeness yesterday and, of course, to get another cup of this delicious coffee (Cup 3:Day 3). It was not the same cashier so I wasn’t able to apologize, but I will be sure to get this done in the next few days.

From the random act of kindness perspective, it’s not about the dollar value, it’s about the opportunity to make someone’s day a little brighter. A small deed had such a profound impact on my approach to the rest of the day.

We all have ample opportunities to do small kind deeds throughout the day. A smile, eye contact with a “How are you today?” or letting someone in front of you at the grocery line, a compliment, biting your tongue when someone irritates you. There are several ways to accomplish this small feat that has such a huge return. We should take these opportunities more often. Maybe kindness should not be so random.

Price is NOT the issue
From the customer loyalty perspective, I must tell you, that I make sure to buy my gas at this station. They don’t always have the lowest prices, but I want them to stay in business so I will pay the difference. That is very common with customer loyalty. If you give your clients more than they expect, make their interaction with you better than they expect, price will not be an issue.

What are the things you do in your business to create customer loyalty? If your customers were surveyed, what would they say about their experiences with your business? What makes them come back, or better yet, what makes them go elsewhere? In this volatile economy, maintaining and growing our customer base is critical to survival.

Does your company need help in this area? How will you know?

If your customer's loyalty is as random as your kindness.

A Place in Time

by Mark Sturgell

I am going to focus on sales professionals today, as an example, but this message is for everyone. This is about me...and you, too.

Sales professionals have the potential to live, work and produce in three dimensions: Time, Space and Spirit. Actually, we are limited to three Space dimensions, which simply means we can only be in one place at a time. We are limited to one time dimension, which means we are stuck in the moment (more on this in a moment!). So when you add my suggested Spirit dimension, you might say we live in five dimensions, but that may be too grandiose for us practical salespeople.

We have production issues

It’s that production issue that is on the minds of most salespeople, nearly all the time. Sales professionals, fund raisers, and anyone else who depends on our own actions and on the decisions made by other people (hint: all of us) - we have production issues. We need to meet quota; we want to pay for the family’s prized vacation; we want to earn the respect and admiration of our colleagues and customers; the roof is leaking and the kids are hungry; we need to produce…

Production, or at least the rewards of productivity, is important to all of us.

Time is linear. We have no control over time. Each of us has 24 hours in each day. That will not change. There is no such thing as time management. We have the moment – this moment - to work with. We have Now. That’s all we own, all we are given true stewardship over. We cannot travel into the past or the future, even for a moment. This one is all we have. We can use our moment to plan our day, our week or our year, but we cannot do or live our year in the moment. We can use our moment to regret or celebrate our past, but we cannot do or live in our past.

Time is only as powerful and productive as the activity and Purpose we put into the moment. Time is God’s domain. He gives us moments.

Space is where we have our freedom. We get to move around. We can move up; we can move down; we can do the Hokey-Pokey and turn ourselves around (ever wonder what inspired our company logo here at Performance Development Network?). Space is the dimension in which we can exert our will the most. But we can only be in one space at a time, so choices are important.

Finally, there is what I call the dimension of Spirit. This is the dimension that most affects what we experience or cause others to experience with our space and time. This is what defines our moments. Spirit determines the nature of our activity and Purpose in our moment of Space and Time. Spirit is about intention or lack of intention.

Who am I? What do I want? Where shall I be? How do I feel? When shall I make my move? Why does everyone keep picking on me? These are the questions of Spirit. What I am doing right here, right now (in my moment) that will make the kind of difference I most desire in my next moment?

Spirit is the difference between living and enduring our moments. Spirit breathes life into Purpose. I pray you have a Holy Spirit breathing into your Purpose.

Stand up. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Relax… Now open your eyes.

So, you say you want to increase your sales, bring home more bacon, be awarded the Employee of the Year parking space?

What Purpose will shape your activity in the next moment?

Welcome to The Intersection of Purpose and Now.

Bullies in the Work Place

By Becky Morris

Run into any bullies recently?

Maybe I have been living under a rock, but for some reason I always related bullying to the school playground, not to the corporate world. Recently, a friend was describing a situation in his organization that involves a bully. As the conversation continued it struck me how painful, frustrating and confusing this situation was to my friend. The most amazing part of his story was that this was not a one-time occurrence. The bully struck often, chose many different targets, usually landed "direct hits" and no one seemed to be doing anything about it. The advised response was to just "learn how to deal with it" because the issue and the individual (bully) was not going to be addressed.

The conversation with my friend got me thinking more about bullies. I wonder: How should you respond to bullies, especially if you are not in the position or have the authority to implement any discipline?

In researching this topic, I found an article called "How To Deal with an Adult Bully" by Dr. Anthony Fiore, "The Anger Coach", that has some good insight into how to deal with a bully. I encourage you to read the full article, but here is my synopsis of what Dr. Fiore surmises from a particular case study.

Tactics Of The Adult Bully
"...emotional bullying occurs when someone tries to gain control by making others feel angry or afraid." Bullying is often characterized by yelling, name-calling, sarcasm, mocking, putting down, belittling, embarrassing or just physically or verbally intimidating behaviors.

Bullies Often Have Personality Disorder
Bullies have a deep sense of insecurity about themselves. They completely lack empathy or the ability to perceive how they are negatively affecting others. They honestly don't see themselves as the problem and are constantly in dismay when others around them are devastated or offended by their behavior.

Can Bullies Change?
Dr. Fiore states that, while research shows that "most bullies are unable to make deep changes to their personality, they are sometimes able to modify their behavior to the extent that they are more tolerable. Usually, the motivation to change is inspired by outside influences such as employers, spouses, or children."

Four Ways To Cope
Dr. Fiore recommends the following responses to bullying:

• Focus on the positive attributes of the bully and try to ignore the negative parts.
• Be confident and look your bully in the eye. Speak in a calm and clear voice while asserting yourself by naming the behavior you don't like and state what is expected instead.
• Create a distraction or change the subject. Try using humor or a well chosen word to disarm the bully.
• Give the bully's ego what it needs.

So the next time you encounter the “bully” keep these tips in mind. You cannot control the behavior of others. However, you can control your own response.

Just for fun, watch "Mr. Monk and the Bully", episode from the USA series "Monk". Use the link below.

You Can't Do Anything with a Broken "Want to" - Part Two

by Mark Sturgell

At the heart of everything we do at Performance Development Network is the goal of helping people who dream become leaders with vision. At the heart of living at The Intersection of Purpose and Now is becoming a leader with vision.

No matter if you have followers or not; we're talking about whether you have set a purposeful direction for your own life that you can follow...if you do, the followers will come. What is your vision for a significant life? Your vision for how your authentic self-expression adds value through your relationships with others? Your vision for how you serve a purpose greater than your day-to-day living might currently be about? Your vision for what you want? Your vision for where you are going? Your vision for the person you are becoming? Your vision for an On-Purpose life?

So we are spending some time on our dreams - your dreams. Yesterday, I shared the Lesson of Dreaming Big since so many people have too few dreams or dream small. Your fieldwork was to begin your personal Dream Inventory of at least 100 dreams, and I gave you a couple of Dream Stimulation tools to get you going in the absence of having a professional coach.

Today, we get to the core of why some people live out their dreams - and why some do not. This is true regardless of whether your dreams are few or many, small or big.

Lesson 2 - Dream with a Powerful, Personal "Want to"
For a moment, think of a place you have never been but you REALLY want to go. (A tangible, real location on this earth, if you will.) Now ask yourself, if you REALLY want to go to this place, what is keeping you from going? Nothing? Think again, or put it this way: if you REALLY want to go, then why haven't you already gone?

Now you are probably thinking of answers like these: money, time, family issues, fear, courage, other priorities, procrastination, lack of a plan, haven't scheduled anything...or maybe a lack of desire. In other words, you haven't gone because you just haven't solved a variety of roadblocks, you don't have a plan, or you lack real desire - you have a broken "Want to".

Now consider one of your dreams you have listed already in your Dream Inventory. Choose one that seems important to you, at least for now. Turn your dream into a goal. I realize goal-setting is a whole other skill set that I'm not covering here, but make sure you state your dream as something specific that you can achieve with some effort and you give yourself a target date for achieving it. Ask yourself the following and similar questions:

• How will my life be different if I achieve this dream?
• What are the personal rewards I will experience if I achieve this dream?
• What if I don't pursue or achieve this dream: so what?
• What are the consequences if I do not achieve this dream?

These will get you started on answering the key questions of:

"Why is this my dream?"
"Is this REALLY a goal that I am willing to pursue?"
"Am I willing to overcome great difficulties to accomplish this goal?"

You see, if you have a dream, yet when someone challenges you or asks you "Why that dream?" and you don't or can't go on into great detail of why and how you must pursue this...then you may be suffering from a "Broken Want to".

If you really want something, you will have a passionate story to tell about why you want it and vivid description of what having or achieving it will be like for you.

We see "Broken Want tos" at work all the time. We are given goals to achieve by someone else - parents, teachers, spouses, supervisors - and our hearts just are not "into it".

How to Fix a Broken "Want to"
There are several ways to fix a "Broken Want to". Here are the basics. First, once you have that inventory of your 100+ dreams completed, set up a tournament much like the NCAA basketball tournament pairings that come out each March. Pair up your dreams "against" each other and ask this question to determine the winner of each round: Which one is most important to me now?

Keep this up until you come up with an overall winner. This won't be easy, by the way. If you have earnestly made a list of dreams you truly want to have, do and become, you will be making difficult choices to come up with one winner. For now, though, that's your task. Determine one winning dream for now.

Got it? Now turn that dream into a tangible, achievable, specific goal with a target date to achieve it. You may even struggle at this point - your dream may be the culmination of many goals. Select one and go for it. If you're still struggling, consider hiring a coach or feel free to email me at askthecoach@pdncoach.com.

Several things may happen at this point: You may find an obstacle you cannot overcome; in that case, you may have to adjust your goal. You may find yourself procrastinating, putting off key actions that you know must occur to achieve your dream/goal; in that case, you probably have a broken "Want to", so review the "Why" questions you asked yourself earlier. Or, if you have addressed your obstacles and fixed any broken "Want to" issues, you may find yourself passionately in pursuit of a dream once deferred.

Sweet dreams.

You Can't Do Anything with a Broken "Want to" - Part One

by Mark Sturgell

I help people who dream become leaders with vision. There is a difference, you know.

Everyone has dreams, although I am always amazed at how FEW dreams most people have, and how they lose their dream capability at a surprisingly early age. Few people turn their dreams into personal vision and then do what is necessary to achieve that vision.

This week, I will share important ideas that determine whether your dreams will become your vision for life, or remain just idle dreams that are all too often lost amidst the clutter of living.

Lesson No. 1 - Dream Big
Everyone has dreams. Dreams are built on hope for your future. I ask my clients to keep an inventory of their dreams, and when we first get started coaching, I ask them to push themselves to list at least 100 dreams (yes, put ink on paper!).

The typical first reaction to this assignment, no matter one's age, is something like "Are you kidding? I can't even think of five or ten dreams right now!"

That's the problem: we don't dream nearly enough. When we do dream, our dreams are limited. We don't Think Big in three significant ways:

1. We have too few dreams.
2. Our dreams are too small.
3. We dream with a broken "want to".
   

Some people stopped dreaming early in life; dreaming was "you've-got-to-be-kidding" and "What-is-your-back-up-plan?" out of them. They struggle with dreaming anything beyond the destination of their next vacation. Some people dream too small. They dream of finding the perfect job, rather than mastering the opportunity right in front of them. They dream of their "15 minutes of fame" when they could be dreaming of a lifetime of significance. Some people dream, but with a broken "want to." They can list 100 or more dreams, but never quite get their feet and hands, let alone their hearts and souls, into pursuing anything that might truly require them bring to bear their most passionate efforts.

First, about those of us who don't dream enough, here is your assignment:

Starting today begin a list of your dreams. Do not stop until you have at least 100 dreams listed. This may take you a couple of weeks.

That's right, get 'em all down...installing those replacement windows, becoming a lay leader in your church, riding your Harley through all 50 states, becoming a chef, writing your first book... They are your dreams and none are too small or trivial, too large or significant. List them all starting NOW.

Now I realize this is much easier to accomplish through ongoing coaching, and if we can help you with that just let us know. But if you need a little dream stimulation, click on the following links for some helpful "Dream Stimulation" tools: Dare to Dream and Dream Ideas.

If you find it helpful, here are just a few entries on my own Dream Inventory:

• to be a father whose children are comfortable coming to me with anything, when they need or want to
• to directly affect the lives of 100 leaders each year, who each, in turn, will affect the lives of at least ten others
• to help churches develop strategic youth ministries that extend beyond the talents and tenure of a single ministry director or pastor
  
• to have the courage to take action now on the things that are most important to me and, ultimately, to God
• to be "resident tourists" with my wife upon retirement in Washington, D.C. and other locations
• to convert from PC to Apple

That's it for now. check back to The Intersection of Purpose and Now for the next installment of You Can't Do Anything with a Broken "Want to"

Keep Your Fire Burning

by Becky Morris

Attending a conference of colleagues, for me, is both inspiring and rejuvenating. It is an opportunity to reconnect with old friends, hear new ideas, discover what tactics are being effective and reconfirm my belief in what I do and why I do it. My goal is to actually do things better as a result of having attended. I recently returned from such a professional conference that I attend quarterly with colleagues from all over the country. But we all know what happens. We come home; we return to work; we get back into our routine and we lose the momentum we gained in those few short days.

In fact, we can lose much more than momentum. Think about a workshop, seminar, conference or “inspirational” program you have attended – a “good” one. What happens the next day? What about two days later? What about two weeks later? What about two months later? Remember anything from the program? Maybe. Apply anything from the program? Not likely.

In our research, we have asked hundreds of people what their experience is following a typical “learning event”, which includes all those personal development and inspirational examples listed earlier. The response is almost unanimous: the next day “stuff” gets in the way, the handouts get thrown into a file (at best), no one cares what you’re talking about when you try to share what you’ve learned and soon (in about 16 days, according to our research) only about two percent of the information is retained – information you invested your valuable time and hard-earned money to gain. Two percent profit. Two percent return-on-investment. It’s not “all for naught”, but mighty close to it.

Knowing that this loss of value from learning investments is a very real possibility for me as well, I have asked myself what I need to do differently to prevent this “brain drain” from happening. The whole thing reminds me of the movie “Castaway” starring Tom Hanks. Tom is deserted and alone on a small island after a fatal plane crash. He struggles to start a fire and when he finally gets that first spark, his life depends on keeping the fire burning.

…So I began to do some research on how fires continue to burn. According to what I read, there are three basic elements to start a fire:

1. Air or Oxygen,
   
2. Fuel (wood, paper, petrol, dry branches, etc)
   
3. Ignition (striking a match or bringing heat from another source, i.e. lightning or another fire).
   

If you remove any of these three things, you will either not start a fire or cause your fire to go out.
So how might these same three basic elements "keep my fire burning" after learning something new?

Air or oxygen – the life of the fire.
I know that what I do makes a significant difference for others. Having an opportunity to guide someone through a decision making process, helping them construct an action plan that moves them from the present to the desired future, walking them through a goal setting process that allows them to define and remove all obstacles, determine appropriate action steps, the rewards from accomplishing this goal and the belief that they can. This is what brings me alive.

Fuel – the tangibles.
My fuel is the interaction I have with other human beings. I do not see everyone I meet as a potential client; however, I relish the idea of meeting new people, getting to know them, hearing their story. I believe everyone has a story and this is something that we all forget from time to time. Not only do we have a story, but the chances are very great that, by sharing pieces of our story, we can help someone else walk through something in their own lives.

Ignition – What is my “fire starter”?
Activity gives life to my business. What is the best way to spend my time? What creates the most business for me? Is it cold calling, networking, joining organizations? How can I breathe more life into my business? I believe it is important to be strategic about the activity in which I am engaged. I can fool myself into thinking I am busy because I am doing stuff (going to events, making phone calls, etc.); however, if this is just random activity, it rarely produces any results. The right activity produces the right actions, which lead to the right results.

Lighting a fire is an intentional act.
Keeping the fire lit requires just as much intention.
Now what will you do to keep your fire burning?

Do You See What I See?

By Becky Morris:

I am not my sister.

I am not sure why I feel compelled to say it, but “my sister and I do not look alike”. My sister is several years younger than I. We have a very close relationship, but in all actuality look very little alike. She has curly hair, I have straight. She has blue eyes, I have hazel. Our faces are shaped differently; in fact, there is very little about us that truly resemble one another. However, people are constantly getting us confused and some ask us if we are twins. This perplexes both of us and we have a difficult time understanding exactly what others are seeing.

I wonder: What is it that people are seeing that makes us look alike in their eyes? Why do we spend so much time telling people what our differences are rather than our similarities? What is so hard about accepting the fact that others think we look alike? If I am focused on assuring that I am not my sister, might that keep me from affirming what or who I am?

In fact, if I am focused on assuring that I am NOT something, might that keep me from affirming who I am or what I aspire to be?

What, this old thing?

Does anyone ever come up to you and give you a compliment or make a positive comment and your response is trying to tell them differently? What if we saw what they are seeing? Why do we try so hard to make them see the differences? What value would it bring to our lives if we saw what they saw? What if we were more accepting of their observations rather than respond with the proverbial “Are you kidding me?”

If you are working on making positive changes in your life, could you use the comments of others and turn them into positive affirmations for yourself?

When working with our clients we stress the power of affirmations. By definition, affirmations are “positive statements, to assert as valid or confirmed” (Merriam-Webster). We state that an affirmation is a positive statement that reinforces what you believe to be true. We believe that affirmations should have the following qualities:

• Affirmations should be positive
  
• Affirmations should be stated in the first person singular
  
• Affirmations should be within the realm of your capacity to believe (realistically high)
• Affirmations should be directly related to your goals, your values, your mission or purpose
• If your affirmation includes something that you cannot currently believe or only achieve sporadically but it states a quality that you want to achieve consistently, then emphasize how you will feel or be when you achieve that quality. (For example, “I love how I feel when …”)

I am not my sister. But the next time someone comments on how much I look like my sister, my response is going to be “Thank you. Isn’t she beautiful?”

Leadership and You

Formal leadership is the outgrowth of your ability to master the art of self leadership; that is, “the ability to establish a specific direction for your own life, and to proceed in that direction with the self-confidence that comes only to one who knows where he or she is going.”

In order to determine where you want to go, first establish where you are now. Everyone has untapped potential to excel. Few will ever understand the process or feel the thrill of becoming the best they can be. Becoming the “best you can be” is why you are engaged in The Intersection of Purpose & Now; it's why people engage the services of a coach. If it is what you want then it is what I want for you and from you, just as it is for all of my clients.

Before Formal Leadership you must have Self Leadership. Before Self Leadership you must have Self Image. Before healthy Self Image you must have Self Love. To experience Self Love you must learn to Love Others. To truly Love Others you must know the Love of God. If the foundation is strong, the rest will be supported.

Every life has a reason. Leadership is an active process of knowing what you want out of life, and what you are going to give with your life. Leadership is first being, and then doing. Leaders develop a singleness of purpose; they find purpose in life and give purpose to life. Leaders know who they are, where they are going, and how they will get there. How you lead your life not only determines your future, it also determines the future of those around you.

The leaders I serve are committed to improving the quality of life for themselves and for the world around them through authentic self-expression that adds value through their relationships with, and service to, God, family, their businesses and customers, friends, neighborhoods, church, communities, civic and social groups, governments and even society as a whole...

The purpose of this process is to create focus. The truly successful leader understands the difference between who he or she is, and who he or she wants to be. As you continue your journey toward the person you want to be, continue to ask yourself the following questions:

• Where am I today?
• Where do I want to be a year from today? In five years? In ten years?
• What is important?
• If I realize my goals, what will be my rewards?
• What are the consequences if I fail?
• What is standing in my way?
• What are the possible solutions for those obstacles?
• What specific action steps do I need to take to accomplish my goals?

Whether you follow the path to mediocrity or personal success is a matter of your own free choice. Courage becomes a reflection of a growing desire to become the kind of person you want to and will become, to have the kind of life you deserve, and to be the successful leader you were meant to be.

Want to Achieve More of Your Goals More Often?

How do you feel when you fail to achieve a goal?

Now don't keep reading quite yet. Seriously take time to consider your answer to this question. Think of a specific time in which you fell short of your goal. [If your first thought is that you achieve all of your goals, then I suggest you start setting tougher goals for yourself.]

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Now that you have considered the question of how you feel when you fail, consider this: If you don't write down your goals, this question won't be as powerful for you. People who write out their goals and plans to achieve them typically achieve more and attempt more difficult challenges. If people who write out goal plans stretch themselves more, they may fail more often because of the potential increase in difficulty of their goals - or less often because they actually plan to succeed.

One thing is for sure, people who write down their specific, measurable, time-bound goals will know - for sure - when they have succeeded or failed. Most other people are mistaking success for fortunate circumstances and that "uncomfortable feeling" they experience as failure. Failure is not so debilitating for the person with specific written goals; they know what to correct in a second effort.

Goal setting is the means by which you can define your ideal future, motivate yourself to achieve that future, identify possible distractions and potential road-blocks so that you can develop solutions to problems before they occur.

Goal-setting begins with your answers to the question, "What do I want?" You can never have too many answers to this question. What do you want to do? What do you want to have? What do you want to become?

You CAN have too many goals. So your next step is, considering all that you want, "What is most important to me now?" This question should be answered in the context of your values (again, purpose-driven, goal-directed people have their values written down). People of faith will seek to discern what is most important to God in defining their goals.

Why is this your goal? What would it mean to you, in deeply personal terms, if you achieved your goal? What would it mean if you did NOT achieve your goal? Your answers to these questions define your motivation to achieve the goal.

What might keep you from achieving your goal? What obstacles might get in your way? If the goal is much of a goal at all, there will be obstacles and several of them. If you can't think of anything that might prevent success, then consider why you haven't already achieved the goal.

For each of these roadblocks, consider possible solutions. These solutions become the object of your action steps. Top goal achievers don't practice the common approach to goal-planning; that is, set your goal and consider your action steps. Top achievers also consider the "Why" of their goals and the obstacles that they must overcome to be successful.

This is the basic script for achieving more of your goals more often. We teach this process to our coaching clients and they typically practice the process until it becomes habit - their "second nature" approach to achieving goals, making decisions and solving problems. This basic process is a big part of why our clients say:

"I am more focused now than I have ever been in my life;
and I am focused on Purpose."

Give us a call at 217.362.0500 or email askthecoach@pdncoach.com if you are interested in learning more about the power of coaching and the habit of Goal-Achieving. We'll merely get acquainted - we don't charge for making friends!

Purpose - Avenue Q, The Musical

Let's just have some fun today. Believe it or not, The Intersection of Purpose & Now has a theme song (well, maybe not, but we're having fun today remember) and it's a Broadway hit! From "Avenue Q The Musical" and the Original Broadway cast, Purpose is sung by John Tartaglia, who voices Princeton.

Here are the lyrics:

Purpose,
It's that little flame
That lights a fire under your ass.
Purpose,
It keeps you going strong
Like a car with a full tank of gas.
Everyone else has a purpose
So what's mine?

Oh, look! Here's a penny!
It's from the year I was born!
IT'S A SIGN!

BA-BA-BA-BA
DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO
I don't know how I know,
But I'm gonna find my purpose.
I don't know where I'm gonna look,
But I'm gonna find my purpose.
Gotta find out,
Don't wanna wait
Got to make sure that my life will be great!
Gotta find my purpose
Before it's too late.

I'm gonna find my purpose

I'm gonna find my purpose
Could be far, Could be near
Could take a week,
A month, a year
At a job, or smoking grass
Maybe at a pottery class!
Could it be?
Yes it could!
Something's coming,
Something good!
I'm gonna find my purpose
I'm gonna find my purpose
I'm gonna find it.
What will it be? Where will it be?
My purpose in life is a MYSTERY
Gotta find my purpose
Gotta find me.

I'm gonna find my purpose!
Purpose Purpose PURPOSE!
Yeah, yeah!
I GOTTA FIND ME.


You'll find more songs from Avenue Q at http://tinyurl.com/ohalow

Practice a Value a Day

Positively change your life and the lives of people around you by practicing the following simple activity every day starting now.

Consider a single common virtue or value, just one for today. Use one of these below or choose your own (and add it to our list by responding with your comments; also, tell us about your experience).

Each day, start your day by choosing a single value from the list and consider the following:

• How has this value been playing out in my life and work recently?
• How would my life be different if I had more ____________? (fill in the blank with your value for the day)
• How can I bring this value more fully to bear today in my relationships, meetings, focus, habits, activities...?
• When I live this value today, what happens?

Courage, Authenticity, Humility, Patience, Gratitude, Service, Forgiveness, Effectiveness, Cause, Contribution, Encouragement, Gentleness, Honesty, Learning, Legacy, Integrity, Joy, Kaizen, Leadership, Listening, Motivation, Partnership, Questions, Trust, Sacredness, Self-Esteem, Rewards, Spontaneity, Vision, Wonder, Beauty, Chemistry, Equality, Encounter, Authenticity, Truth, Faith, Belief, Love, Destiny, Improvisation, Calling, Empathy, Grace, Honor, Bliss, Wholeness, Yin-Yang, Teamwork, Value, Creativity, Silence, Soulwork, Innovation, Respect, Sanctuary, Openness, Mastery, Lightness, Kindness, Justice, Inspiration, Intimacy, Hope, Moderation, Affirmation, Diligence, Consideration, Modesty, Purpose

Write down the value at least once and look at it often, at least before you start your day, sometime near mid-day, and review it before you go to bed at night, as well as before/after scheduled appointments or when you are about to begin a new task. Heck, hang it around you neck if you really want to make a statement (and be accountable to everyone that day)!

Experience how values work on you, and how differently your value begins to work on others.
There are enough individual values here to keep you growing and influencing for three months, by way. And I think you will find many days - and values - worth repeating.

Oh, and did I say to consider a "common" virtue or value? Well, maybe they aren't so common, but they could be if each of us started practicing this activity daily. Think of the noble spirit and values you would bring into your workplace, into your community, into your church, into your home, into this contentious world... Think of the salt and light you would be adding to the lives of others. Think of the virtuous person you are becoming day after day, month after month, year after year. (Did I mention the values are worth repeating?)

Soon, you will know your Core Values - and others will see them in you, too.

Friends, this is living at The Intersection of Purpose & Now. I hope you will share your experiences with us by commenting to this article after you put your values into practice.

Have an On-Purpose Day!

Why did you become a leader?

Let's get this started correctly: there are no born leaders. Not you, not that person you admire, not any of the "greats" from history...there is no such thing as a "born leader".

Leaders are made. Leaders are developed. Leaders are the product of intent and context, of purpose and events. Leaders take the lead, or sometimes find themselves leading, or sometimes by following leaders create impact. If you still believe that some people were "born to lead", then you likely are viewing leadership from a very limited perspective, defining it with a limited set of characteristics, or accepting it in limited circumstances. Moreover, belief in born leaders places you either inside or outside an exclusive club that simply does not exist.

Whew, I'm glad that's out of the way. Now, to the subject I really want to write about.

Why did you become a leader?

First you must answer this: Have you become a leader? Have you determined a specific direction for your life and pursued it with the courage that comes only to one who knows where he or she is going? Has the purpose you have chosen to live for attracted others in search of the same thing? The measure of a leader is in the results produced by followers through their own discretionary actions in pursuit of the leader's mission. Who follows you? What value are they adding to the world by following your direction?

How did you become a leader? Some say they became leaders when they were asked to lead (these may be the same people who believe in born leaders!). Being asked to take a formal leadership role does not make you a leader. Invitation to leadership merely creates context and opportunity. Invitation merely creates the venue for potential leadership. Leaders are developed in the pursuit of a mission beyond their singular ability to achieve, through noble values and a shared quest for virtue. Leaders are the product of those who want to follow them.

But why did you become a leader?

Back to my original question... My guess is that your answer and that of most leaders arises from the specific direction that you sought or still seek with passion. You had a cause, a mission, an agenda. You became effective as a leader through pursuit of a dream, and the subsequent struggle, failure, success, reward and consequence, much like gold ore is purified into 14 karat gold.

Then perhaps you are ready for the ultimate step our most admired leaders always take. You may need to lose your own agenda for one far greater. Perhaps God has a mission for you for which everything else you have done up to now is preparation.

You need to let go of the things that brought you here.
Only then can you become a true leader.

Identity is Destiny

This morning was a disaster. I decided to try out the new website administrator tool that my web host had installed. (I have known my main business website has needed a serious overhaul for some time.) My home page needed some reformatting, at the very least, so that is what I was doing when upon my click of the "bullet" icon, everything disappeared.

EVERYTHING but a few lines of my business website home page is gone.

Of course, my first action was to call my web host (the owner, by the way); I had to leave a voice mail...but that's another story yet to be written. My next thought was that I may have to recreate, rewrite, reconstruct those precious words and graphics I long ago had written. I felt like a victim of identity theft.

But I abhor thinking like a victim at all, so I got to thinking: How much of an opportunity might I really have here? When was the last time I truly rethought my business? Is my story today the same as it was a couple of years ago when I last updated my home page? I have a new partner, Becky Morris, and we are beginning to do this in earnest together, but now I literally have a clean canvas on which to paint my - our - vision anew.

Then I got to thinking of a comment made by my friend and colleague, Grant Tate, when we had dinner last week at a professional conference. Grant said something like this:

We'll never reconstruct the old economy, so what will the new economy look like? What is our role? We are perfectly equipped to shape what is to come. Shouldn't we be leaders in shaping what is to come?

Much of what we have been writing for decades in our economy is gone. It has disappeared. We'll never reconstruct our old story; we shouldn't want to. We don't like it, but we are forced to shape something new and within that lies the potential to shape something better.


Who are we? What do we stand for? How are we different? Where do I fit in?

In his book Identity is Destiny: Leadership and the Roots of Value Creation, author Laurence D. Ackerman sites a Conference Board survey report on post-merger integration from the late 1990s, in which three factors were cited as being instrumental in creating a framework for designing a successful new organization.

• Basic identity, core values and business strategy
  
• The underlying economic model of the enterprise
• The philosophy and style of the CEO

The combination of these factors helps to "create a common understanding and commitment" among all stakeholders. Employees love their work and deliver results that mirror their passion; customers want to do business with their companies again and again; and investors stay with the companies in the face of inevitable ups and downs. Loyal employees; loyal customers; loyal investors: a perfect formula for success.

Ackerman gets it: Our identity - a company's, or a person's, or a nation's unique characteristics - determines our potential and capacity for success. I can use the blank canvas of my web page to great advantage by rethinking my identity, my business and the value Becky and I add for our clients. Our nation can rethink our identity and how we create value in the world. Our nation's businesses can rethink how they add value to their customers and in our economy. Our teams can rethink how they add value to corporate mission. Each of us can rethink how we uniquely can contribute to something bigger than ourselves. In so doing, we create a common understanding and commitment to pursue new results with passion.

I can rewrite my success story by rethinking my identity. I am the CEO of my future.

Reflections to inspire personal growth and identity:

• Where are you now? Why? What are your striving for that seems just beyond your reach based on your current thinking?
• What are the unique characteristics and interests that make you who you are? How do you know? How would a professional assessment help?
• What is your identity: your personal vision, values, strategy, career/business model, philosophy and style? When was the last time you rethought your identity? What kind of help do you need?
• If I asked you to come up with 100 or more dreams for your future, what is your capacity to dream of success to this extent? Would a process that helped you dream and achieve the dreams that are most important to you be helpful?
• If "Identity is Destiny", who are you, what do you want to have, to do, to become and how are you going to achieve your desired future?

Our future - your future - begins at The Intersection of Purpose & Now.