The Real Potential of Team Building

“Team building” is one of the most meaningless phrases in the English language. That's right - meaningless. Yet requests for "team building" is the single most frequent request I receive from business executives, managers and team leaders. Almost always, they request team building because they cannot articulate exactly what they do want or need, or why they really need it. They just know a lot of time seems to be wasted on "relationship issues" or "we could always be more productive with a little more team work."

"Team building" means little because it can mean so many different things in context. Most often, team building requests are about fixing or improving relationships among group members. In my work over the past 20 years, I have found that relationship issues are seldom the root cause of team problems; they are more often the symptoms. So allow me to offer a basic primer in understanding the nature of effective teams and what team building generally is all about.

First, start with an effective definition of team building; this alone will shape a high-quality intervention with your team. My definition is:

Teambuilding is an Organization Development technique for improving a work group's performance and attitudes by clarifying group goals and clarifying members' expectations of each other.

Search for specific inhibitors to your team's performance. The “relationship issues” will come up first, but you will need dig deeper. Root causes of inhibitors need to be explored in the order listed below. Most importantly, team building must be an ongoing process - not a half-day activity or outing. The team building activities of that nature that I offer are meant to be used as a single element of an overal strategy for team development. I nearly always develop a customized approach depending on the context and commitment to change from my clients.

Remember, your goal is specific: to improve team performance and attitudes by clarifying group goals and members' expectations of one another in the following order. This requires focus, disciplined adherence to a structured process, and at least some assistance from a skilled facilitator from outside your team and organizational culture. This simple model works for any kind of team, whether it's a marriage, a family, a church, a neighborhood or civic group, a government task force, small business or Fortune 500 corporation.

Goals

• Do team members have a clear, shared understanding and articulation of the same mission, goals, vision and even values?
• By the way, you might call this all-important clarification process, which is the first step necessary to get team members "on the same page", as "The Intersection of Purpose".
• Teams I have worked with are amazed at the transformation of their attitudes, among other outcomes, just by achieving success at developing a clearly stated common mission. This is one of the reasons why I say Strategic Thinking and Planning is perhaps the most powerful "team building" activity any group can pursue.

Roles

• What roles are necessary for the team to be effective and who will play those roles (individuals, SBUs, locations, departments, etc)?
• Within each role, are there clearly identified goals that support the team’s purpose and mission?
• Do team members share mutual expectations of one another (and SBUs, etc) in their respective roles?

Rules

• Is everyone playing by the same rules? These include written rules like policy, procedures, regulatory issues, written core values…
• This also includes “unwritten rules” – the ones that really define team and organizational culture. Typically, it is often a continuous, and sometimes very difficult and time-consuming challenge to identify a team's unwritten rules. Team members and team leaders are typically hard-pressed to do this heavy lifting, but it can pay big dividends and nearly always requires outside assistance.

Relationships

• Yes, relationship issues can produce root cause inhibitors to team success, but should only be accepted after the other three causal areas are explored and well-defined with a great degree of consensus.
• Usually, when goals, roles and rules are clarified, the relationship issues take care of themselves. Conflict still exists, but is productive and exists for good reason – as the necessary ingredient for innovation. No longer is conflict about “right versus wrong” or “win versus lose”; now it’s about win-win relationships and “what is the best right answer among all our team members’ possible right answers?”
• Where relationship issues still exist, now they can effectively be addressed through tools and activities like sharing behavioral style assessments (i.e. DISC) and traditional team building activities.

Now, with all this said, I do use traditional team building as a means to introduce organizations t more profound solutions. But I am very careful up front when I say “yes” to these agreements. Unless relationships are the only inhibitor to effective team development, these activities provide short-term fixes at best.

I picked up a new client last week who put it best: “We need team development, not just team building.”

A Career Planning Checklist for Your Job Search

Perhaps you or someone you know is looking for a job or making a career transition right now, and maybe I can help. I have 20 years experience as a Certified Career Specialist and Business Coach, with a record of helping more than 1,000 people find jobs. These have included people facing every conceivable kind of barrier to employment, from out-placed executives to people with disabilities.

If you have spent any time looking for a job, you may be thinking, "There must be a better way." In fact, there are many "better ways," and it is up to you to find your way. Most successful job seekers do follow some common practices to progress in their careers. Use this checklist to measure your progress. See my full article on "A Career Planning Checklist for Your Job Search" at EzineArticles.com.

Committed 100% to doing a good job, but about 25% passionate? What to do...

Keith Privette turned to LinkedIn experts when he was approached by a friend who was "commited 100% to doing a good job, but about 25% passionate about the work?" Keith added, "Have you had this happen to you? What did you do? What were the lessons learned? After job was done what was the path?"

Well, I'm a coach, through and through, so I had to respond first with more questions. Within my response are my hopes and prayers for anyone who is "doing a good job", but lacks passion. Keith honored me by taking two actions:

1. He is using the coaching contained in this article to discover his remarkable life at The Intersection of Purpose & Now
2. He named my answer the Best Answer on LinkedIn. Here is my answer in full:

• What does "passion" mean to you?
• What are you "100 percent" passionate about (or close to it)?
• What is the difference between that 100% experience and the work you do at "25 percent"?
• How are you measuring passion?
• How is that working?
• What would it take for you to be more passionate about your work? How would that effect you?
• How would that effect the "good job" you are doing?
• What impact would that have on your relationships and other roles?

• Suppose you identified a purpose or pursuit that brought out in you this elusive quality called passion?
• How would you be different?
• What would you do different?
• How would you feel?
• How would you act different?
• What new possibilities might you have then that you do not have now?
• Would these possibilities be worth the change necessary for you to achieve them?

I certainly could go on with the questions and recommend that you, or anyone seeking benefit from the many answers to Keith's question, seriously contemplate these questions and write down your thoughts - that's right, write down your answers whether or not anyone else but you ever reads them (that choice is yours, too).

I believe passion is a product of hope, and hope grows from possibility, which is a product of the assumptions we make daily (if not moment to moment).

Now back to critical questions...

• What are your assumptions about your work, your role, your life, your ability to pursue your REAL dreams?
• What are the results of those assumptions?
• What if you had different assumptions; what might they be?
• What possibilities might these new assumptions produce for you?
• Is there one (or more) possibility that tingles your skin yet, until now, you dared not dream?

My guess is that you have some dream deferred, something that you dearly envision for yourself and your life that has always seemed just out of reach. Your assumptions have kept this dream beyond your reach - and maybe it truly is impossible.

But I challenge you to test your assumptions about yourself, about your dream deferred and your ability to pursue and achieve that dream. Maybe with some help (from an experienced coach), you will begin to see your world from a new perspective. Maybe this new line of sight between where you are now and where you really want to be creates a yearning inside you, a deep desire somewhere between 25-100 percent, but enough that the elusive passion you seek will arise and begin to define you in ways that before, you could never imagine.

These are my hopes and prayers for anyone who is "doing a good job", but lacks passion. I would love to help you and please, do not hesitate to ask me for help - or continue to join me at The Intersection of Purpose & Now.

"I would like to thank..."

My friend and fellow coach Julie Poland inspires me, and she inspired my topic today with her own blog, which I recommend you follow in addition to The Intersection of Purpose & Now. And I guess it is accurate to say that Julie was inspired by the Academy Awards ceremony last weekend. Like the Oscar winners, it comes natural to award winners to thank the people who made a difference in their lives. Thus, we end up with marathon awards programs on TV with a mixture of long droning lists of 'thank you's' to everyone from mom, apple pie and my little dog Toto, too, as well as the truly heart-felt and profound stories of gratitude that touch even the hardest of hearts.

As Julie writes:

Who among us doesn't have helping hands giving us a boost to the next step on our ladder of success? Or cheerleaders who help us celebrate when times are good? Perhaps a consoling shoulder for the days when it seems like the planets have aligned in the worst possible way? Nobody does it alone.

And, like Julie, I would be mortified if - given the chance to thank all those who make the life I live so special - I would tragically leave someone out by trying to mention them all. Truthfully, after finding myself on Julie's list I couldn't sleep last night for thinking of all the people I would thank. I KNOW I will leave someone out, but I think it's important to take that risk by beginning to make my list of those "I would like to thank..."

I encourage you to take the same risk. I don't expect you to read my list, and it's already a long one at mid-life; that's really between me and them. I do challenge you to record your list, write it down and take the risk of - somehow - sharing it publicly. Here goes: "I would like to thank..."

• My mother, Catherine "Katy" Sturgell - without her I may have lived my life without ever looking Christ in the eyes, without knowing the mercy, love and grace of God, without knowing the physical presence of the Holy Spirit, without knowing the best of what we have to offer as human beings. She taught me how to pray and gave me the best example of how to be. I know I am not alone in recognizing her as a saint - it's more than the adoration from a son. My mom exemplifies what this blog is all about (and much more):

But it may be that the way of life that she has chosen for herself and the peculiar strength and sweetness of her character may have an ever-growing influence over her fellow men so that, long after her death perhaps, it may be realized that there lived in this age a very remarkable creature.

• Judi - Without the love, encouragement, support and commitment of my wife, I am only less of a man.
• Tyler, Dylan, Ryan - Without the hugs, kisses, love and future of my children, I have only less of a purpose.
• Mrs. Bradford, my first grade teacher - perhaps if I had not been in love with my first grade teacher I would not have have fallen in love with learning (and several other teachers in the years that followed)!
• Mrs. Johnson, my second grade teacher - perhaps if she had not caught me faking my book reports on Dr. Seuss, I would not have developed the respect I have for the opportunity learn.
• Mrs. Keifer, my third grade teacher - if she had not been so unfair, perhaps I would not have sought to always be fair.
• Mrs. Dawson - she was my first music teacher, but without her appreciation for my early ability to communicate well, I would not have ever grown into my own skin.
• My brother and sisters (Becky, Terry, Betty and Cindy) - without their unconditional and unending love (and antagonism), I would be so much more alone in this world, and so much less intimate with this world.
• Wayne Scritchlow, my 4-H advisor - without his recognition of a young teenager adrift in a world of opportunity, I would never have known that life is about choice. Thank you, Wayne, for giving me a choice to dive into the deep end in order to learn how to swim, for making me "Willie B. 4-Her" and making the most of the chance to become a member of the Report to the State team, which changed everything and probably saved my life from mediocrity.
• Dave McMurtry - Dave, if you hadn't introduced yourself and coached me that day on the way to our interviews for the Report to the State team, I would never have made it; I would never have achieved most of the things I have since those early days in 4-H. Out of countless 4-H friends, you will always be the most important one.
• Warren Sperry, my high school band director - without his highest expectations of me I would never have known about my unlimited potential, that the more of my potential I discover and use, the more potential I create. Thank you Warren, I really do "have the world by the heels."
• Del Dahl - if you hadn't traded me for 70 cases of copy paper, I would be probably be an unhappy mortician, pursuing a worthy career with unworthy passion.
• Sid Hutchcraft, former Illinois State Fair superintendent - without you inviting me back to the State Fair Press Office as an "experienced writer", I might never have known true success and some of the best friends and memories one could ever had.
• Susan Idleman Helm - my dearest Susan, you mentored me, befriended me, coached me, inspired me and loved me only as a true friend can; all that, and you and Jim saved me from despair (and the Dragon Lady) when I really needed saving, too. You will always be a piece of my soul. (Thank goodness you didn't puke on me on that ferris wheel!)
• My State Fair Press Office friends - you pulled me out of my paranoid little shell and taught me how to really live. Oh, the fun we had and got away with...
• The Illinois State 4-H Office staff over the years - the people who keep coming back to me to help, to lead, to be led and to learn. So much of what I have done, learned, and received, so many of the places I've been and the great people I met, began with the opportunities you chose to offer to me. I forever remain humbly honored and deeply grateful.
• The SIU Wesley Foundation - a group of friends who influenced me both on Saturday nights and Sunday mornings in a way that developed my character, enriched my spirit and sweetened my soul.
• Dr. Marie Kilker, my SIU academic advisor - without your wisdom and guidance, Lord knows what I would have done for an education. You opened up a world of possibility for me that did not exist before, one that few if any others would even consider.
• Cheryl Pruitt (Miss America 1978) and a couple of Miss USAs - without your kisses, I would have one less story to tell over and over and over again.
• Jay Lowe - for supporting my efforts to continually grow in my career, and for teaching how to act locally to change the world.
• Pam Schnake - without the opportunity to work with you I probably wouldn't be in business today.
• Jacques Nuzzo - without you I would not be the facilitator I am today.
• John Schirle, my best friend and so much more - without you I would, WOW, there is too long a list to share here! Thank you for being my business right hand, my devotional partner, my prayer warrior and your prayers for my boys, for taking me into a life a adventure (and crawling through darkness, mud, wet clay and frigid chest-high water for fun), and much, much, much more. Thank you, friend.
• David Herdlinger, my friend, coach and coach mentor - without you I would not be the coach I am or know the person I aspire to become.
• Cindy Key & Cheryl Clausen - without my first two coaching buddies I would be so far behind the competition and a puddle of unaddressed issues!
• Jerry Fons & Julie Poland - two more coaching buddies that hold me to the highest standards of coaching and being coached.
• Dennis Pescitelli - you inspire me, follow me and lead me with a keen spirit and noble values.
• RAC Network - to difficult to categorize: a circle of friends, a community of colleagues, a pack of drinking buddies? If ever I need to know the right answer or the right question, you are there for me. Without the respect, support and accountability of my colleagues and clients over the years, I would only be less useful.
• There have been hundreds of people with disabilities, high school and college students, correctional inmates, mid-career professionals, business owners, managers, employees, community leaders and job-seekers who, through their own dreams and experiences, made me a better coach. They led me to my VOCATION and helped me recognize my passion for nurturing the self-advocacy, accountability and leadership potential of others.
• Finally, I thank and encourage anyone who chooses to help others – it’s the only really useful thing we can do during our time on earth.

But it's not really the end of my list. Who have I forgotten? Who will influence me today? Tomorrow? These will be the people who will help me make the second half of my life even more meaningful and significant than the first half. "I would like to thank..." I've only begun my list.

Join me at The Intersection of Purpose & Now. Who will you thank?

What cage are you in?

I am reading a great book. Actually, I am nearly always reading more than one great book. This one in particular is likely to influence future Purpose & Now entries; it certainly inspired my thoughts today and it inspired an earlier post by my friend, Jared Vogel. The book is Wild Goose Chase: Reclaim the Adventure of Pursuing God by Mark Batterson. I am nearly finished, but my thoughts today are inspired from the book's beginning. Batterson writes about how, too often, people find themselves taken into safe havens, away from risk, where struggles are mitigated and the danger removed. Sound tempting? Actually, what I might call "safe haven syndrome" scares me and it concerns Batterson, a church pastor among other things, because it creates what he calls "caged Christians".

I believe all of us are borne into a life of adventure, yet end up spending too much of our lives avoiding adventures with safe homes, safe neighborhoods, safe churches, safe jobs, safe communities... We become risk averse and ill-prepared to deal with struggles in a world filled with opportunities for adventure. I am not advocating unsafe communities or unwise risks, by any means. I am advocating an adventurous and purposeful life.

For example, parenting is tough. Perhaps the toughest part of parenting is allowing my sons' adventures, allowing them to take risks, make mistakes, learn, succeed and and even allowing them to fail. Certainly, I want to equip them to make good decisions about the paths they take, but I also encourage them to explore new paths which by their very nature are dangerous and risky. I dread that they must deal with the consequences of bad decisions. My biggest fear is that they might take an all-too dangerous path and fall off a figurative cliff. So my most important role as parent is not protecting my sons from dangerous paths, but preparing them to choose the right adventures and survive or conquer hidden dangers. Otherwise, like so many of the youth and adults I work with as a coach - my sons might end up "caged".

What cages us in? Batterson lists six cages that keep us from living the life of adventure and purpose meant for us. They reflect the very same obstacles that I find are holding back my clients from pursuing their God-given dreams and goals. They are the very same obstacles that hold me back from time to time.


The first cage is the Cage of Responsibility. Those endless "to-do lists", overflowing schedules and "crackberries" ringing and vibrating at all times can bury us in responsibility. Less important responsibilities displace important ones. We find our ourselves getting a lot done, but little of it truly brings us alive. This is productivity without purpose. When your "should do" list takes precedence over your "must do" list; when your responsibilities become excuses for not pursuing your passion - you may be caged by responsibility.

The second cage is the Cage of Routine. Now there is nothing wrong with a good routine. I am the first to suggest that healthy habits breed success. But when our daily routine becomes too routine, it's time to disrupt the routine. Try something different; mix things up a bit. Otherwise, as Batterson aptly puts it, "sacred routines become empty rituals that keep us caged."

The third cage is the Cage of Assumptions. Batterson describes this cage as when we start living out of memory rather than imagination and stop believing and start assuming. Hope springs from belief in possibilities. When we assume our possibilities are limited, so are our choices and we become caged by these assumptions. What assumptions might be caging you in? I'm too old. I'm too young. It will cost too much. It will take too much time. Someone else will do it. I'm not qualified. I had no choice. Assumptions cage us into what has been rather than what could be.

Another cage is the Cage of Guilt. This one saddens me the most. I've known people with "neutralized spirits" who remain focused on their regrets. Guilt changes our reflexes from hope and possibility to dread and reactionary. As long as we are focused on what we have done wrong in the past we have little energy to dream and take right actions for the present and future.

Fifth is the Cage of Failure. Sometimes our efforts must fail in order to learn or, as Batterson wisely writes, "...in order for God's plans to succeed." You may be familiar with the story of Thomas Edison, who believed he had to fail "a thousand times" in order to get the light bulb right one time. Failure becomes a cage when we come to believe it is the only possible end result.

The last cage Batterson describes is the Cage of Fear. You know what F.E.A.R. stands for? False Expectations Appearing Real. Our adventures get derailed by fear of what might happen, what others might think, and countless other fears. I always say there are at least seven obstacles to every goal; fear is nearly always one of them. The world needs more daring people with daring plans for daring adventures. Why not you?

All six cages require a reconditioning of spirit, action based on noble values and openness to new possibilities. A life of adventure keeps us out of these cages, but we must constantly seek opportunities to live in the world in new ways. One new question, one new thought, one discussion, one action, one step outside of the cages you live in can change everything for you. Everything.

"Life is either a dangerous adventure or nothing at all." - Helen Keller

Are you serving a Greater Good in your microcosm?

My friend Jared Vogel is a curious sort of person; by that I mean he is curious about life, learning, everything around him really, and he brings out the curiosity in others. We have wonderful conversations, Jared and I. A book we are reading called Wild Goose Chase brought a new word into our vocabulary. Jared, being the scientist, had to look it up. Today I share with you some of Jared's thoughts that arose from his learning the word "paleolimnology". Give yourself the time to read his thoughts - they raise useful questions for you to consider. Thank you, Jared, for sharing.

paleolimnology
(¦pāl·ē·ō·lim′näl·ə·jē) The study of the past conditions and processes of ancient lakes. The study of the sediments and history of existing lakes.

Learning that word: paleolimnology made me remember my studies in evolution where scientists regard lakes as a good place to track changes in a species because the lake is a microcosm relatively isolated from outside influences.

Because the fish in the lake will never breed with the fish in another lake ( under normal circumstances), they evolve to fit the exact niche of that lake. They thrive in that particular climate, under that particular light condition, eating that particular food.

It's an interesting concept: the evolution of a microcosm - one species becoming the most efficient at surviving in a niche. A species becomes the most efficient by never getting out of its microcosm.

Those that are most suitable for conditions breed with others that are most suitable for conditions, and they have offspring that are more suitable still. If a species stays in one place long enough, it becomes the best at surviving and multiplying. It evolves.

But evolution is boring. No one has ever made an action movie about someone becoming efficient within his microcosm. Human curiosity wants to see the fish in a different environment. Human curiosity wants to see how it would react to a different set of challenges. A northern pike may be pretty ferocious in a river in Illinois, but how would it do in the Amazon amongst some piraña? Human curiosity takes things out of their microcosms. Human curiosity created the mule, and it brought the horse to America.

Sometimes, though, it isn't curiosity that changes a species or takes it out of its microcosm, but a knowledge of the greater good. Take for example penicillin: a subspecies of a type of fungus. Microbiologists grow it in a niche designed specifically for it so that it can become the most efficient at surviving. The penicillin lives in a petri dish where it's easy for it to survive. It wouldn't be able to leave this friendly environment, nor would it want to if it was able.

Microbiologists know that the penicillin would be useful in a different environment - an infected human body. They know that this is a place where the penicillin can live well eating bacteria and also do its environment good ( also by eating bacteria). It's a knowledge of the greater good that breeds the penicillin into a different species and takes it out of its efficient microcosm.

How similar is this to God's will in our lives? If we live in our microcosm and are not interfered with, we can become the most efficient at surviving within our niche. But God knows that efficiency is boring. God wants to breed us into something more useful like mules or amoxycillin and take us out of our microcosm to be put somewhere that we will not only thrive, but we will do our surrounding environment good.

• How efficient are you in your niche? How energized are you by where you are now?
• Where else might you thrive and also serve a greater good?
• What would have to change?
• How would you need to change?
• What change would you like to be in the world?

Thank you, Jared, for joining me at the Intersection of Purpose & Now.

Purpose is Filling

Why don't I do what I know I should do?
Why do I procrastinate?
What keeps me from focusing on my real priorities?
Where did the time go?
I wish I could get more done.
If only I had more time...

These are common issues my clients mention frequently. They are issues I have struggled with from time to time. I know you face the same struggles, too.

Our church youth pastor, Brian Talty, had a curious opening to his sermon on Sunday morning. "How many of you like pie charts?" he asked. No one raised a hand. He then went on to talk about priorities and values; how he, like many of us, seem to have our priorities in order - God, family, work, service.

• Like many people, I have pledged my desire to give God the "biggest slice of the pie" that is my life. I devote a portion of my day to, well, "devotions", a part of my week to church, prayer, and fellowship with others who share my faith. I find myself praying incessantly. We do these things, yet something still gets left out.
• Most of my weekends from about October 1 through March 1 each year is spent travelling to and from my sons' hockey games. During the week much of my time is devoted with my boys or to my boys.
• I work from home (I have for six years) and I am amazingly productive and disciplined. My work is an extension of my life's purpose - I am fortunate that way.

We can strive and seem to have our lives in order, yet still feel that there never seems to be enough time. Why is that?

We treat time like a commodity, something to be bartered, portioned, sliced and served, something we can "buy low and sell high", as if we could increase our collection of time or trade it away when needed. Fact is, we are contained in time and merely have the opportunity to move through it in 24-hour increments - no more, no less.

Brian Talty did one more thing at the end of his sermon that I will never forget. He took a real apple pie and sliced the largest portion of it to represent the largest portion of life in which one might make God the priority. As he held it with a pie server, it began to fall apart and drop in pieces back into the pie pan. God isn't something for whom we can carve out a portion of our life. He is the apples inside the pie. He pervades everything, every moment, of our lives.

God, family, work, service - these are not the portions of our lives we must "balance" against each other. These are the things that fill our lives; these fill each moment of our time when we are living On Purpose. When I stay focused on what is most important to me, I always have enough time. I am not playing family against work - they both give purpose to everything I do with my time.

• How are you portioning your time?
• How could your priorities and values fill all that you do with your time?
• Do you schedule time for spiritual renewal, time for family, time for work, time for service?
• How might you begin to allow these to pervade all that you do, all the time?
• How might your life be different?

Let me know your thoughts.

A Tribute... To Making the Most of Every Amazing Day

It's not that I am lazy or that I don't have plenty to write about this week; it's just that I am inspired by so many people, particularly my friends who have already joined me at The Intersection of Purpose & Now.

Today, I am sharing something from my good friend and fellow blogger Brian McDermott, a principal with GrowthWorks Inc., near Minneapolis. He, the tragic yet inspiring story about his niece, Ciara, and her favorite poem by e.e. cummings, all remind me of my search to experience 5 Recordable Positive Interactions each day. Although Brian and I mostly interact via email, the web and sometimes by phone these days, it is always - most definitely - a positive interaction.

Here is Brian's post for the day:

Just over three years ago, my niece, Ciara, was the victim of a murder-suicide. Today is her birthday.

If Ciara were alive she would be 34, and I have no doubt she would be continuing to do the amazing things she was doing as a police officer -- at that time working in a high school -- to make her part of the world a better place for those she touched.

I've begun working on a book to tell her story because... The night after Ciara's murder, 1200 high school kids turned out for a student-organized vigil. I was staggered by that response. The high school principal confirmed for me that this was an extraordinary response. "You don't get 1200 high school kids to do anything," he said... And this was just the first of many reactions that convince me there is an important, helpful story to tell.

Ciara was also a gifted writer and a poet. Her favorite poem was I Thank You God for this Amazing Day by e.e. cummings. We shared it at her memorial service and I want to share it here with you to help mark this day as special.

I thank You God for most this amazing day:
For the leaping greenly spirits of trees
And a blue true dream of sky
And for everything which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(I who have died am alive again today,
And this is the sun's birthday;
This is the birthday of life and love and wings
And of the gay great happening illimitably earth)

How should tasting touching hearing seeing breathing
And -- lifted from the no of all nothing -- human merely being
Doubt unimaginable You?

(Now the ears of my ears awake and
Now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

e.e. cummings

This is the beginning of trying to share the story of someone who made a difference.
Happy Birthday, Ci.
Brian

Is This Heaven?

At Christmas time, my daughter and her family were travelling home for the holidays. As they boarded their flight in Charlotte, it was overcast and dreary. My daughter was sitting next to my five-year-old granddaughter, Maggie. As the flight took off and began ascending, they finally broke through the cloud cover to a bright and sunny sky. Maggie immediately turned to her mother and asked, “Is this heaven?” Several passengers heard her and got a chuckle.

Oh, the wonder of a five-year-old. While she might not understand heaven, she knows it must be bright and beautiful. But more than that, what she really doesn’t comprehend is that the sun is always shining. Sometimes gray clouds may block our view, but the sun is always shining.

The same goes for our lives. We have the ability to be the sun on someone’s gloomy day: a smile, a word of encouragement, eye contact or a light touch, just taking the time to think of someone other than ourselves. It seems like such a small thing, but so difficult to do at times.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." - Marianne Williamson

Go ahead, make a difference, I dare you!

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Wind Effect

When I woke up this morning, I heard a bell ringing. I noticed the furnace was running so I thought maybe it was something with the furnace. My husband was in the shower, so I thought perhaps it was something with the water. As I was fixing my husband's lunch (a rarity), I kept hearing this ringing. Not knowing the weather outside, I eventually realized it was my chimes on the back porch being blown about by the wind.

The wind - not visible, but very effective. It can take a couple of inches of snow and create a blocked driveway, it can create energy, and it can cause the peaceful and joyful sound of chimes. We usually don’t even notice the wind, but rather notice its results.

If the wind blew around in your life or organization, what would change? Would it create a roadblock, causing you to change direction or shovel your way through a tough spot? Would it create energy in an otherwise static environment? Would it bring the melodic sound of a ringing chime?

We could all use a little wind in our lives. Something to shake us up, make us think differently, act differently, go a different route, produce different results. Perhaps it would just bring the musical sound of peace and joy.

Welcome the voice of my partner, Becky Morris, to The Intersection of Purpose & Now. You'll begin to see her entries here from time to time as well as mine. Becky and I welcome your comments. We welcome you to join us at the Intersection of Purpose & Now.

Over-commitment is an oxymoron.

Here is an issue direct from a coaching client:

"I often find myself overcommitted. What can I do differently?"

I certainly know how you feel (there is a reason I posted this late today)! My family means the world to me. And there is my work - my Purpose - that I approach with great passion. Of course, I have some social life, mostly connected to my various roles on community boards, or with a group of parents at my kids' school events and hockey games. Oh, and my spiritual life is all-important, which I dedicate great time and energy to developing, exploring and refining that I might live according to God's Will. I also devote my time to reading, and read books voraciously. I want to be healthy...ooh, maybe later. Then there is my dream list and my daily and weekly "To-Do" lists and...

"Overcommitted" is an interesting term I hear used quite often from peers, clients and colleagues. I obviously feel their pain. But use of this term belies some underlying assumptions, which may be a problem. Let's break it down:

The verb "commit" means "to obligate or pledge oneself", so if I say I am "overcommitted", I may have pledged my time and energy too broadly. Most likely, you are involved in a number of activities and roles at work or at school, in the community and at home. You probably struggle "finding the time" and energy to keep your obligations. But are you really committed?

Reconsider the concept of commitment. The burdonsome feeling of having too many obligations is common, but are you really over-committed or are you under-committed? Over-commitment is an oxymoron. Too many obligations creates a watering-down effect, so none of them receive your true commitment. Does "obligation" equal "commitment"?

How might your problem look differently if you considered that you may really be under-committed to your real priorities? What new solutions does this shift in thinking generate? What are your real priorities? How do you know?

If you find it difficult to say "no" or have ever used the phrase "I didn't have time" you may be under-committing; worse, you may be blaming the clock, your other roles or even other people. What is important to you? What opportunities do you have that relate closely to your core goals and purpose? Have you prioritized your opportunities before obligating your time and energy?

"Over-committed" people prioritize their schedules. The committed person schedules his or her priorities. Consider this critical distinction before you make promises in the future.

If you are struggling with over-commitment, time management, or feel overwhelmed with obligations, coaching can help. Comment on this article or call me anytime to talk it over.